this is everything i didn't say

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and after the longest time since for ever, i'm back!

A levels is officially over for me! i know, i can't believe it either. the two years in junior college passed sooo quickly i couldn't catch up, and the three weeks of A levels went by in a literal blink of an eye, i didn't think A levels would be over so soon. and today marks the 12th year of formal education i've received in singapore. wow. i really am still in shock. but at the same time, i'm so glad it's all over. 20 essays, 2 papers, probably on the way or reached cambridge already, and now i just have to wait for my results and see where it brings me. it honestly still feels so unreal, it'll probably take me a few days to actually absorb the fact that i've graduated from junior college.

i've got a whole list of things to do now that A's are over. i can finally watch videos and dance without feeling guilty. i can finally take my mind off all the pressure and stress that have been in my head the past few weeks. i can finally be sane. and most importantly, i can finally catch up on my sleep. the last two papers (history) have made me crazy losing sleep trying to memorise which factor was the most significant in causing the origins of the cold war and how effective economic policies were in southeast asia. but well no more memorising and reading texts for me now. we'll be leaving for bangkok on sunday morning, while some science students still have their mcq on monday and tuesday (HAHA ALL THE LOVE FRIENDS) and then we'll be back a day before grad night which makes me stressful and have stress pimples, no joke, and we'll be going to genting the next weekend!!! so excited to be going overseas again!! i also actually have to go find a job and earn money and save up if i wanna go cambodia or other countries next year really;; but for this week, i'll probably be nua-ing at home watching videos or dancing or constantly reminding myself that A's are really over. bless.

soooo many things have happened since the last update and even before that- we went to bali for ads and managed to reunite with old friends and meet new friends!! :) it was a really good break from school and i totally didn't touch any notes or lecture packs for 10 whole days. well i did try to study but you know you actually won't study overseas really. and also midyears happened straight after bali in june and we missed our math paper cos we were overseas but yeah we managed to survive prelims and A levels. the period of time after prelims was actually the scariest for me as we went through past year questions and other school prelim papers and everything else but it was so bad for me because my brain was lacking so much in content especially in history?? and econs?? and lit?? and my math grades were dropping?? and gp?? and i was pretty not confident at all for any papers when A levels started but i managed to get through the 3 weeks without getting emotional which surprised me considering how emotional i was before A levels. i honestly don't want to get back my results //sigh// also, the new batch of cambodians were in town the past weekend but we couldn't hang out with them like we normally would because it's during A levels. i actually miss the first batch of cambodians so much it's been 3 years!! hanging out with them was so fun we had no itinerary and we just fellowshipped and formed new friendships aaaa i really want to go to cambodia soon even though some of them are studying overseas.

but anyway, grad night is next week, and i really don't know if i will regret the decision of going to grad night. i mean we didn't have prom in secondary school and this would be a first time experience for me, but at the same time you know how awkward i am. a socially awkward turtle swimming in a sea of people- just watch me. and joakim gomez is the mc hahaha okay. also, i think we're taking part in chingay for next year, just that the next two sundays we'll be overseas but we need to go down to pa to take measurements and all but we'll be overseas? so i really don't know. but what i do know is that i want to take part in ndp next year but uni will probably be an obstacle for me in this case but we'll see how it goes next year ya.

i've been watching videos since i got home today and my eyes really hurt now hopefully i'll be able to update more regularly now that i have a 6 month break before uni starts, and that is if i actually get into a uni alright. //crosses fingers// have a good day all of you and please jio me out so that i will not be bored to death.

till next time x

no pictures because....... it's too much to do heh