JOWEEEEEN

this is everything i didn't say

2016 nyr

Thursday, 31 December 2015 || 2:07 pm

so as we welcome the new year soon, i figured i would type out my new year resolution for 2016 since i haven't really done this before. blogging out my resolutions would also help me keep track of my goals and what i want to achieve so that hopefully, when i look back at it some time next year, i would be reminded. and stuff. you get where i'm going at. and without further ado, here's 3 of my new year's resolution for 2016. :)

1) be disciplined
this has been something that i wanted to work on so badly because i know how ill-disciplined and lazy i am. i am such a procrastinator and i figured that this has to change especially for next year when i'll be taking my big A's. i also need to prioritize everything. like my studies, friends, family, social life and relationship with God. so yeah i really really have to work on my discipline for next year. please help.

2) work on my relationship with God
i admit, my relationship with God have not been the best, but i want to work on it in 2016. i want to be convicted just as i was before i got baptised. especially since next year is definitely gonna be a stressful, hectic and busy year, i want to set my priorities straight and be right with God, not because i feel like it's the right thing to do, but because i want to. i want my spiritual journey with God next year to be a great one, despite anything that's going to happen. with God all things are possible yes? even working on my relationship with Him.

3) be more open/ less socially awkward
being the socially awkward person that i am, i usually avoid crowds or any social gatherings and avoid talking to people. it's terrible i know, especially since we HAVE to interact with people no matter what. i won't ever be the first to initiate conversations and when i have to, i get extremely nervous. making new friends scare me so much. but then again, making friends is part and parcel of life and i have to, have to, have to make new friends. so hopefully in the new year, i won't shy away from events and stuff and maybe start talking to new people? so my aim is to either 1) initiate a conversation with someone or 2) have a conversation with someone. kinda like the same thing but number 1 is more stressful to me. also, i guess i tend to keep some things to myself. i don't know, sometimes i'd rather not say things because it feels a lot easier, if you get me. so this new year, i think i should be more open with my feelings and whatnot, so many things are going to happen in 2016, and if i keep everything to myself, i would probably go insane. so yeah maybe i'll share some stuff here, or maybe i'll keep a diary in 2016 (and try to maintain it unlike my 2012 diary which i stopped writing in august and totally regret) or maybe i'll share with someone. so.... i'll have to work on this even though it's gonna be a little hard for me.

so there you go, my new years resolutions for 2016. i guess i have some sub-resolutions too like, not my main resolutions but i'll just not say it here because it's more personal hahah. anyway, friends, if you are reading this, please help me in any way? i really want to change in 2016, for the better. and that's also the end of my somewhat planned posts for the month (if you read a couple of previous posts earlier you will know what i mean). i've summed up the lessons learnt, things i'm grateful for, and the year and here's my resolution to end off the year/ start off the year haha.

i honestly don't know what to feel about the end of 2015 and the coming of 2016. so many things are going to happen. i'd be turning 18?! and 3 years as a disciple?! on the first week of january, i already have an ogl camp and i have yet to pack (i need to find a whistle and torchlight omg), and throughout the month of january there will probably be more ogl stuff (i'm gonna be awkward, but 2016 resolution okay). there will also be open house to prepare for so i'd probably have to be in court shoes for i-don't-know-how-long and then i'll step down from the ambassadors. i'm still trying to think what i have done in ambass haha. and in june, i'd be going to bali for 10 days and i'm so excited!! it's for the asian discipleship summit and i am so pumped to be reuniting with some overseas disciples!! we've booked our flights and registered like last month? and after the summit, we'll be staying in bali for a couple more days just to have fun with my mum's friends aka hopeng and of course their kids. good luck to me because i'll have mid years right after the june holidays, but who could say no to a couple of days of extra fun in paradise island?! bali is gonna be a time for me to relax and de-stress before coming back to singapore and turning my mugger mode on. then there'll be the big A's and i'll probably start working after A's to save up hahah. so yeah that's my plan so far for 2016 haha.

i hope 2015 had been a great year for everyone!! even if it sucked, don't worry, a new year awaits. start things afresh and spread some positive vibes. to anyone who reads this at all, i hope 2016 would be an amazing year, or at least 2016 will start off great. let go of the past and move forward, new things to come, more experiences to go through, more lessons to learn, and cheers to the new year. happy new year! bring it on 2016.

till next time x

twenty fifteen

Friday, 25 December 2015 || 10:10 pm

so hello hello it's time for me to reflect upon 2015 and its happenings. it's been a crazy year, so many things have happened, so many highs and lows. i'll try to remember the significant events that have happened this year, so bless my memory i'm getting old HAHA. here's how my 2015 went:

NEW YEARS CELEBRATION
work ended early because there was no one so tricia was a happy kid cos it was her last day of work hahah. so anyway year end party was quite fun because there was this mass dance (and i was looking through my older blogposts where me and nathan disturbed each other during the dance) HAHA and like shouting "NO MORE O LEVELS" when the clock struck 12 and i was so happy i almost teared. well... things are gonna change in a few days time when 2016 arrives. and sad to say, i really dread the coming of 2016. it'll be such a major and important year for me it might just drive me crazy. so friends, if you're reading this (low possibility), i'm really sorry please bear with me for the coming 12 months ahead.

JAYESSLEE ASIA WORLD TOUR IN SINGAPORE
first ever live show i've been to and it's to the talented twins' show like they actually had 3 shows in singapore???? hahah and they brought their family up on stage and, okay, jordan and shane were so adorable!!!! their first song was she looks so perfect and i was just like omg no way. HAHA yeah basically....... it was good!!

ORIENTATION
so being in a new school only means one thing, orientation! (+ matriculation). i really really enjoyed the 6 days of matric and orientation even though i was awkward on the first day, but i had my fair share of laughter and i had fun making new friends! i love the mg which does cheers really loudly, and our class is also quite bonded with our ogls so yeah it was pretty fun!! i'd never ask for a better mg who could stand my annoying laughter!! though we're not as close now, i miss mg time a whole dang lot. shoutout to mgls and ogls for making everything memorable! (i still remember darren was the first mgl to talk to me like he just sat in between me and chee wee and shook hands like omg wat). but i guess orientation and matriculation was the highlight of my first year in junior college because it was like the most fun event and also because the rest of the year was either spent one, studying or two, doing ambass duties.

CNY WITH SAIKANG
so #saikangisback all of us except eecheng and yongkai went to eugina's house for steamboat and it was such a great catch up session! it was almost a last minute thing, but i love saikang! they were the ones who made council so much more fun and bearable! great great time with my favourite councillors. i miss full strength, but ok i miss you guys so much now!! this may not have been a very significant event but times spent with saikang are always the best!! currently missing my council fam.

OTRASG
one direction. singapore. these two words will probably never ever cross paths again except on 11/3/15. it was literally a lit night just jamming live!!!! still regret missing the opportunity to run to the mosh and for not listening to the music and for not enjoying the moment cos i was videoing, but totally not regretting singing off tune!! it was a freaking amazing night okay!! ot5 in singapore. for the first and last time. can we just talk about how on the day i'm typing this, one direction is gonna be on the x factor live results show for the last time before their hiatus? can we just talk about it? and the 24 songs they sang.... whenever its played somewhere, i'll just be like "omg one direction omg otra" yeah. sorry i'm annoying as heck HAHA.

17TH BIRTHDAY
not a really significant day (happy spiritual birthday nathan) (happy birthday aaron) (and jasleen whom we only know this year) but i'm grateful to all those who remembered and wished and everything you guys are awesomeeeeeeee!! and shoutout to minray alice and yuting for going out on that day and satisfying my crave for ewf and making me walk around town with a big arse balloon and going home with it on the train for like over 10 stops? love yall!!!!! holy cow guys, i'm gonna be 18 in 2016. isn't time passing a lil too quickly? definitely.

PJ FIESTA
first ever pj fiesta and it was a success! glad to be part of it! and it's so good to see so many familiar faces from church, secondary school and even primary school! (omg friends with xuan rui for 9 years already leh) HAHAHA well it was quite a good time catching up! and i also enjoyed standing on the stool and shouting to the crowd (when it rained), which meant i was judged by the J2 class opposite ours and by the public. but hey, fun > image right? HAHAHA. the weeks or months of preparation was worth it when all the late-night baked cookies and brownies were sold, and being able to see the old mates. x

GALA DINNER
first official duty of the year as an ambassador, glad to have made some new friends. but i'm still an awkward turtle as always. love.

SISTERS RETREAT x SLEEPOVERs x JUNE RETREAT
so sisters retreat was over a weekend during the march holidays i think and i think i enjoyed myself as i got to bond with some sisters! furthermore, there were no mentors guiding us and stuff so we literally had "ourselves" time and the games were pretty fun!!!! also jammed to some songs and like i was literally my crazy self in front of the sisters HAHAH. sleepover at church was a separate thing where me and crish planned to do overnight studying and yeah it was a good time with the sisters especially since we had this sharing session. :) also, the sleepover at crish's over one random weekend when we failed to study, it's good to be catching up with someone from my dgroup 2 years ago HAHAH. and june retreat, idk i have mixed feelings about it. but i think i got closer to some teens i guess and joseph teo my buddy HAHAH.

INDONESIA
went to batam/balai over some weekends and i got to meet my cousins who suddenly became more welcoming to us and im so happy cos i love playing with them though sometimes its tiring but they're so cute do you feel me!!!!!! hahah i wanna teleport myself to indonesia rn ok!!!!

2ND SPIRITUAL BIRTHDAY
i turned 2 years as a disciple. a tough decision no doubt, but the best decision i have made. there's so many things that i have to change and grow in. many more years to come. our God is an awesome God. x

ECHOSMITH
pretty cool day hanging out with echosmith (except jamie cos he was gonna be a father so he didn't come!!!) it was the first time i got to go up close and personal with stars and sydney noah and graham are literally so nice! like sydney gave us two hugs!!!!! okay i dont wanna say a lot here, but it was a really COOL day i literally felt like a COOL KID. and we were soooooo close to the stage and the people in front of us were super tall pfft okay whatever. but okay holy cow, an hour with echosmith? hugging them? shaking hands with them? talking to them? seeing them perform live? what?

TEACHERS DAY
went back to chung cheng! it was so good to be back at the alma mater, seeing our ex teachers and catching up with old friends, like literally. so proud of my council juniors for putting up a great performance! and i finally caught up with marcus cos we didnt really talk during the four years in cchy *HAHA WE SUCK) but that smart ny poop 4 H2 omg okay. and afterwards we actually planned to study with minray alice and yuting but the outcome failed cos we talked a lot and reminisced our chung cheng days instead HAHA it was a great day!

PROMOS
hella stressful and stuff but i survived my first major exam in jc! okay, mid years sucked too. but this period of time was so difficult for me because i was so worried and going through some stuff too. and i'm glad i managed to go through promos. i'm also really grateful for the friends who have been there with me as i went through promos and just encouraging me even though i was so pessimistic about promoting! but hey, i got promoted. now i just need to go through class test. mid years, prelims and a's next year.... gg.com

CAMBODIANS WEEKEND
so we finally get to hangout with the cambodians over a weekend! didnt get to do that last year because we were going through o's. but yes the 10 super hilarious cambodians who came to singapore, you guys are so nice and its amazing to meet you guy! i'll never forget the times we spent with the cambodians from 2013 and this year!! i'm just waiting for the time when i wont spend money on unnecessary stuff and just save up to go to cambodian to reunite with my cambodian friends!!! honestly cambodians are the nicest people!! i miss my cambodian mates. :(

so i think above are a few major or memorable days/events for me. felt nostalgic typing them. there are so many many more small things that took place this year which are not mentioned here, but i'm sure i posted some lil things on instagram so hopefully the memories will stay. 2015 had been an emotional roller coaster ride. it's been tough, but when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. hopefully 2016 would be fun and not too bad (ya know). i'm not prepared for the new year, but i'll just have to go with it.

to all those who have gone through a lot this year, you are not alone. the year's coming to an end and a new year awaits us. so chin up and start 2016 on a high note. spread some love and positive vibes next year alright! (it will be very much appreciated by yours truly) love yall whoever who reads till here!!

more pictures next time aye. it's tiring to upload pictures. or maybe i'm just lazy. yup the latter.

till next time x

short hair and??

Tuesday, 22 December 2015 || 1:22 pm

hello to whoever who reads this or pretty much to myself. well. nothing much really happened this week and i have no plans for the week but i thought i'll post some photos since i hardly post any photos lol (i know i'm terrible) so here's a post that will (hopefully) add some colours to this blog. HAHA. well on sunday 21/12/15 i attended a cousin's wedding and she's one of a twin lolol we used to take their hand-down clothes kinda thing during cny and stuff HAHA and it was at fullerton hotel so!!!!! okay and today i got a haircut. like a legit haircut not a trim!! you guys will think wow finally joween has got a haircut! bid goodbye to 6 inches of my hair cos i thought that my hair needed a good cut since i usually have it layered and stuff and my hair's kinda unhealthy so. yeah. enjoy the pictures!

here are some pictures with the cambodians who came to singapore last month! chosen the pictures at random haha

kea, better known as selfie king

chen!!

pheaktra!! super quiet at first but who knows right HAHA

i keep calling her kelsey because!!!!

hahahah sorry ashley khnom srolanh yey la

and some random selfies sorry not sorry HAHA:

here are some pictures from the wedding on sunday!

cousins

me dealing with my hair everyday before i got a hiarcut

inside fullerton hotel!! love the aesthetics & i did edit the pic HAHA had to use my mum's phone to take this picture because my phone's back cam quality sucks la

irene, our cousin whom we met a couple of years ago and haven't met since then omg

and here are some more random photos ha ha ha:

proud to say this photo was taken with my phone!!! and editted too hahah sorry not organic

before haircut:

after haircut:

if you've read/seen the pictures until here, i love you. HAHA. thanks for bearing with all my lame ass pictures and selfies!!!!

p.s. i've been studying (or writing notes) yup and i dont know what to feel about knowing my ogl camp grouping next week omg!!! nervousness at maximum and idk if i should go for year end party butttttt

till next time x

5 thing i'm grateful for in 2015

Saturday, 19 December 2015 || 8:09 pm

living in singapore, where i have my needs and wants met, i often take for granted what i have, even the smallest things in life. i've never really reflected about things that i'm grateful for, except for times when i visited developing countries like indonesia and india and there were reflection times. sooo here's a post on things i'm grateful for in 2015. this post got me racking my brains man, aand made me realise how i'm such an ungrateful person. hopefully things will change in 2016.

1) i am thankful for surviving J1
surviving may not be the best word to use here cos it makes jc sounds insane but okay i'm thankful i got through this year. a year ago today, i would have never though that i would be posted to jc. it was totally crazy. the transition from secondary school to junior college, and taking subjects which i did not take back in secondary school, assignments, tests, homework and the deadly pw were things that filled this past year. next year is definitely gonna be worse, but i never imagined going through j1, honestly speaking. there were so many times i struggled in school and had thoughts on giving up, but i am glad that i got friends with me who stuck with me and encouraged me along the way. it definitely made the first year of junior college better. very very grateful for having made it to the second year of junior college and going through this year.

2) i am thankful for the friends who stuck with me
honestly, 2015 have not been a very fantastic year in terms of friendship. many things had happened in my friendships and it totally sucked. but i am really grateful for the friends who are always with me, encouraging me, giving me advice and all. i honestly am so grateful for you guys for tolerating with my nonsense, my laughter, my worries and me complaining about school every single day. thanks guys, you know who you are.

3) i am thankful for being where i am
most of the time i always take the things i have for granted. other times, i complain about not having things when i already have what i need. but there are certain situations this year that made me really thankful for everything that i have, and blessed with. recently, there have been lots of natural disasters happening around the world, and this made me really grateful for being safe in singapore. also, the recent flooding in chennai gave me so many flashbacks of hyc -- this honestly made me miss india so much and i wonder how my friends and the school kids are doing there. people are losing their houses from the floods, and here i am complaining about my job. ha ha. i'm indeed thankful for being where i am today. my complains must really maintain.

4) i am thankful for the happy things that happened to me this year
no doubt, this year had been one rocky year and it was like a roller coaster ride for me, but i am thankful for all the highs that i've had this year. be it little outings such as adventure cove at the beginning of the year or year end party, i am thankful for the happy things i've been through this year. like it really really were the peak times, and some examples of the happy things (probably) are orientation, jayesslee, one direction, echosmith, etc. so yeah, all these little parts that played a happy role for this year, i am really glad and thankful they happened. :')

5) i am thankful for God being with me in 2015
i mean, all things have happened because of God. He has allowed me to be posted to pjc even though i was like at risk, He has allowed me to go through so many things this year and i have definitely learnt a lot throughout the year, not only academically of course HAHA. i'm just really really grateful that God has been with me this year. no doubt, i have a lot to work on my relationship with God, but i hope 2016 would be better!

some of the things i'm grateful for may be "standard", but well, i hold these things/people/events very close to my heart, and i'm really thankful for them. there are so many more things that i appreciate this year especially since a lot have happened within this past 12 months. but here's the 5 things i'm grateful for in 2015. :)

till next time x

holiday thus far

Wednesday, 16 December 2015 || 3:28 pm

so we're into the first two/three weeks of december, and i have really treated it like a holiday so far... if i'm not busy, i'll be lying in bed watching youtube videos. laziness at best. anyway, this post is kinda random and i think it's gonna be a bit messy... so bear with me please?

9/12/15 and 10/12/15 were kinda spent baking? went to the airport on tuesday night (8/12/15) to fetch our aunt who was arriving in the evening and we ate dinner like at 9.45pm okay that was crazy but it was so good cos it was astons yay and airport quality is usually good HAHA. well on wednesday me and joey went to poon huat and ntuc to buy ingredients for baking brownies because we were gonna bake for the teens christmas party on friday. so we did a trial bake on wednesday and did the actual baking on thursday but we thought thursday's batch was a flop (turns out it was actually still good) so at 10.30pm we went out to buy more ingredients that were about to run out. yay i love baking!!! (kinda)

on 11/12/15 friday, teens had our annual christmas party. and this is actually the first time that i'm attending a teens christmas party since i've been overseas over christmas for the past 2 years wow. and this holidays, it's gonna be me, my bed and my phone. just kidding gotta do homework and revision. anyway, in the morning me and joey totally rearranged our room. like we moved and rearranged every single furniture we had and could possibly move except for our wardrobe, and that rearranging made us clean our room even more even though i already cleaned it on thursday. well. went to orchard topshop with joey and i saw this really nice dress at the "last chance to buy" section but there wasn't my size. :( and joey got a romper!! we were in church early to study with crish and we talked about a lot if things instead, like A's, post-A's plans, hyc india and a lot of things!! also, cheryl got baptised tonight yay i'm so happy for her!!!

12/12/15 saturday we finally went out!! the parents went to melaka, leaving me and my two sisters in singapore for four days. i wonder how i'm going to survive. so yeah. we went to town with hengjie today. wanted to go to topshop at knightsbridge, but it was closed!! so we went to h&m and scape and i got two dresses from scape!! then we walked to orchard since the rain had stopped and then we went to the topshop there but they didn't have the dress that i liked anymore (from yesterday). like the dress is legit gone except for the blue colour :( then we went to h&m there HAHA (and we saw a senior) and i got a pull over and a shirt because of the sale!! and yeah we walked around and my feet were sore and then we headed to ssc for dinner and were joined by ku!!! yas i love insulting her. anyway after dinner it was raining again, and so we went to chong pang cc macs to wait for jia juan's ballet to finish and ku was trying to figure her life out cos she was so close yet so far to her house ahahahahahaahahah loser by3. (thanks for the lil thingy from thailand) xoxo.

14/12/15 monday woke up at 5.30am for work. and like i switched on the small light in my room and i wasn't wearing my specs when suddenly the room door opened and jiajuan's head popped in which totally gave me a fright and i was like "omg you wake up so early for what" and she didnt reply and disappear and when i went to her room 5 minutes later, she was in bed. HAHA. turns out she was awake to watch the live stream of x factor because one direction!!!!!!!!!!! (:( okay well i was lucky enough to get a seat in the train yayyyyyy!! and raffles city in the morning is so empty like okay. saw ke xin cos she was going home and yeah workkkk. i think i'm gonna have backache and muscle ache tomorrow first thing in the morning. so i got the sisters to travel all the way to suntec for lunch ( i had mine at starbucks while they kept me company) hohoho. hahah then i went back to work which ended two hours earlier than the expected timing so i was like YAZZZZZ. then i met joey for something and then met jiajuan who was chilling at starbucks at a ulu place (she doesnt even know) and we went to the topshop at raffles city. me and joey tried looking for the v nice dress from last friday but we couldn't find it (more like she couldnt find it) then i was looking through some clothes when i suddenly saw the dress and i was like "i see it. i see THE DRESS." HAHAH. and yeah got the dress yay. :) then we were done and we went to woodlands factorie just for fun before packing dinner home.

16/12/15
ogl games trial!! back to school again after a month and i'm just having mixed feelings ya know -- about going back to school and stuff omg. so i coincidentally met yuting in the train on the way to school so she told me ambass-shanghai stories because well i didnt go for the ambass trip hahah. so anyway, managed to find lisa in school and she like knows everybody?!?!?!? and we sat in our groups in the lt, thank goodness i had lisa. she was the only person i knew in my group. we tried out 4 station games which were relatively okay, but i enjoyed the sing-off and grab bag charades. hahah there was this sc gamemaster who was really nice and came to talk to us after the games since we ended early. i didnt talk much to others in my group, only some casual conversations hahah. well, we only spent less than 5 hours in our groups playing games and so we were quite quiet and awkward and it would have been better if we had more time/days ya know. hahaha. but well most of us have upgraded from strangers to acquaintances i guess HAHAH.

nothing planned for the next few days of the week and i guess it's really time for me to catch up on my studies... this is what i tell myself everytime but honestly i don't do anything. before the J2 busyness gets to meet with ogl stuff and more assignments, i should really up my study game. or we'll just see how ya.

anyway, it's been one year since we went to jakarta for the first time, meeting hopeng group junior and having so much fun with the gang!!! and also it's been two years since hyc india. i really miss india, its people, and the friends i made there. the memories made during the two trips are definitely memorable and unforgettable. well.

till next time x

5 lessons learnt in 2015

Saturday, 12 December 2015 || 11:11 pm

i don't know how or where to start this. but 2015 have been a really long year for me, so much has happened, and i have definitely learnt a lot throughout this past 11-12 months. here are some things i have learnt, and i though i'll just write them down here. not interested? there's an 'x' button at the corner. :) p.s. these things that i've learnt are not arranged in any particular order nor are they very specific. (i don't know what i'm talking about)

1) expect changes

change is inevitable. even in the song Love You Goodbye by One Direction has the lyrics "it's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end". ((i'm sorry i just had to make that reference HAHA. i've known this since probably forever, but it's this year when the changes have been really big in most aspects of my life. i've moved on from secondary school to junior college, and even though the change is not as big as compared to going to polytechnic, there are still changes within the school system itself which takes time to adjust to it. also, i have experienced changes especially with my friends and family this year. friends - be it in school or at church. but yeah. i've learnt to expect changes. if things are good now, there's a chance that it won't remain like this for long. some circumstances are bound to change situations whether you like it or not. i don't know, but maybe i myself have changed since the beginning of the year. friends? have i? HAHA.

2) consistency is key

this applies to school. it is really very very crucial to be consistent throughout the year. okay i may have exaggerated but it is ideal, i guess to be consistent, in a good way of course. back in secondary school, i can do really badly for my class tests, get single digit for my amath class test, but yet just do okay in my exams and i am able to promote. this is probably because the percentage taken from class test is very little. but in jc, every class test counts. there is this pressure to do well for every test that you take, because it counts towards your ca grades which ultimately determines your final promotional results. and basically you are expected to perform consistently for the tests and stuff. consistently consulting teachers is also important especially since my results SUCKS with a capital s. omg. okay. next.

3) it's okay to be emotional

i guess i'm the kind of person who doesn't usually want to show the emotional side of me to others. in front of people, i always want to be seen as the one who is usually happy and just laughing you know. but this year have taught me that it is okay to be emotional, even if it's front of others. you can't always put on a tough front. there are bound to be emotional times. as for me, i felt like by far this year had been quite an emotional year for me, and i can't hide my emotions all the time. i've had sudden emotional feelings and broke down unexpectedly too (giving my friends a shock at the same time LOL). and speaking from experience, it really is okay to be emotional wherever you are. you can't pretend to be tough forever. or at least i can't.

4) shit happens, suck it up and deal with it
quote taken from seniors back in 2012 and i agree with it a whole lot. many things have happened this past year so far. happy things. and crappy things as well. since june or july onwards, things have not been really going the way i wanted, or expected them to be. it was a pretty down period, especially towards the end of the year, but i can't change anything. as from the quote, shit happens. suck it up and deal with it. get over it. i had to get over everything, though this led to me overthinking sometimes and being worried and stuff as usual. but well. talk to someone if you need. a listening ear to listen to everything that you have to say really really helps. it's like taking a load off your shoulders.

5) God is in control
this is pretty duh. but really, this year have really shown me so much, that God is in control, and i have to let go and let God. from being posted to pjc and throughout the year, there are times when i feel like giving up and i feel like i' not good enough, but God sees all the needs and He provides. He allowed me to be in the same school as vanessa, which is really encouraging especially since we see each other almost everyday and we just hug and talk for so long sometimes. He allowed me to do okay in promos and get promoted even though i had thoughts of retaining. and even though i do not really want to do A's next year, i know that this is God's plan and i just got to trust in Him. school things aside, i'm sure that all the changes that i have experienced this year happened for a reason and God wants me to learn something from them. so. God is in control.

so these are the 5 lessons that i have learnt throughout the course of this past year. i have definitely learnt a lot more, but i guess these 5 are what had impacted me the most in one way or another. 2015 have definitely been an eye-opening year where i have gained many insights and there is much to be reflected upon, but that will come at a later time.

so there you go guys, Joween's 5 lessons of 2015!

till next time x

ATAs, Digital Matters University and more!

Sunday, 6 December 2015 || 8:49 pm

so hello to anyone who ever reads this blog! i'm back again and it's only the 6th day of december and i feel like so much has happened since the month started but honestly, i don't think a lot has happened. i'm weird i know judge me. it's gonna be the first time in two years that i'm staying in singapore this december because i've been overseas for two weeks in december for the past two years. have i mentioned this before? i think i have. oops. and the weather had been super crazy, like it rains twice a day kind of thing and it can be really really humid too. guess this is what you get living near the equator. i think it's kinda good that i'm not going overseas this december then at least i'll have some time to do some reflection for this past year. sooo. welcome to Joween's december life! :) ((anyway don't you feel the christmas vibe everywhere you go now???!!!))

my first day of work was on the 2nd of december and i had to be at suntec convention hall at like 8am but being a heartland kid, i obviously had no idea what or where that place was, even though i have probably heard and been there before. thank goodness my dad drove me there today though. and i had a lone breakfast before exploring suntec. that place is so big and scary i just wanna stay in the north forever okay. so i was actually working alone but luckily i found kexin, the cchy junior and she was working alone too and we found company. :-) and made some new people as we had to work with them too. so basically i did a lot of arranging and transporting of books today. like till 10pm with 2 hours of break. the aches did not come today, it came the next day. and when i was working, jtr was actually at level 6 rehearsing for their show for the asian tv awards so they were literally ABOVE ME while i was working dang it. and then they had a radio interview at raffles city starbucks, which i passed by later that night. okay. what. okay. i literally missed the chance to meet jtr twice because i was stuck in a room handling books!

3/12/15 ATAs!!
so today is the asian television awards and if the reason i went to the atas is not obvious enough, it's to watch jtr perform. i mean, it was cool seeing actors and actresses in real life such as pierre png and joanne peh, and other celebrities such as the kpop group, secret, but yeah jtr. boy band phase of my life right now. when jtr appeared on the red carpet, we screamed. when anyone mentioned jtr, we screamed. take note that "we" refers to me and joey because a lot of people went to watch for fun, or supported jeff or secret. but yeah JTR did a brilliant performance of centre of everywhere, their new single. go check it out!! i was hyped, trying to video and watch them perform live at the same time. but okay you know how it goes, i just screamed the lyrics and stuff and cheered when they ended and i think people around us judged us. and secret performed too and i guess that's the first time i watched a kpop group perform in real life. i don't think jun curry anh from shine fest counts right? HAHA. other than jtr's peformance during the atas which totally rocked and got me pumped, it was a pretty chill event for the rest of the evening. at least for me. HAHA. fun fact: before the atas me and joey went to walk around raffles city for a little while because we saw that people actually took pictures with marcus and alfie there. like they arrived in singapore at 5am this morning and then people posted pictures and stuff and we found the location and the place was beside swissotel the stamford (where ilc was held last year hohoho) and we saw some teenage girls and assumed that they were malfie fans and so we kinda guessed that malfie stayed in that hotel. and guess what? when we were queuing up for the ata, malfie were actually at gardens by the bay and we could literally see gbtb from where we were queuing and we were like omg so close but so far away. so yeah no fate with malfie today but we got to see jtr perform live and hopefully they will do a gig in singapore or come back again ya know!!!

on friday we went for the morning devo thing, and it was kinda like a recap. we played a little bit of frisbee. i'm so scared of william cos he's so good at frisbee okay omg, and we had pizza. we also studied. a little bit. i mean i tried okay!!!!! and i saw more pictures of people with malfie mehhhhhhhhhh okay!

5/12/15 DMU!!
so i was awoken up by joey saying "eh wake up let's go to the digital matters thing and see malfie!!" at like 10am or something and i was immediately awoken? because that was our only chance of seeing malfie. the digital matters university talk today was actually for creators, like people who aspire to create a career in this industry. well i might just do this if i fail in school HAHA. okay, but we walked from city hall to the asian civilization museum thanks to google map. and we were one of the 250-300 people who managed to have a more personal or intimate setting interview with malfie. so the talks were by jasper, luke hyams, claire maysh and bing chen about the industry and stuff, and the last segment was of course the interview with malfie, or marcus and alfie. that was when people got crazy and kept screaming HAHAH. it was a fun interview session and the interview often went off-tangent. they did talk about how they started their youtube career and other youtube-related stuff. and then there was the qna part where the audience were to ask malfie questions about their work and stuff but they got questions like "who would be a better dad" and talks about chicken and rice which was hilarious. they also talked about weird experiences with fans, and how alfie would sleep in any position and it was so funny i certainly had a good laugh! p.s. the english accent!!! shout out to dom lau who was such a great host/interviewer/presenter and has such a great sense of humor! well guys, if i don't make it in school, i would consider doing a youtube thing for my own entertainment HAHA. well. it's alfie's first time travelling to this part of the world and we definitely hope that malfie will come back to singapore again and bring other people too yeah!!! fun fact: at city hall, we saw ku who was going to the philatelic museum and her first words when she saw us was "OH MY GOD" i mean hello?? rude!!!!!!! HAHAHA xoxo we have yet to go to the beach. fun fact 2: me and joey watched teens react the whole night it was so hilarious, especially the gaming ones, and i laughed until i teared. you should go watch the react videos, it's funny and talks about a wide range of topics!

this afternoon was so retarded you have no idea! so after church, it started raining really heavily. so me joey jiajuan and tricia crossed over to happy hawkers with 3 umbrellas and after crossing one road, we were all drenched already! my jeans were wet and tricia just ran across so she looked like she stood near a car which ran over a puddle. HAHAH and once we reached the busstop, the rain stopped, and we saw trina and other people walking casually to the busstop and we were like what?! so we decided to eat at kfc and we gave up with the umbrellas and just walked in the drizzle. so yeah i may or may not fall sick soon.

aslo, i figured that since i will be at home this december, it would be a good time to do some reflection for this year which definitely had been hella crazy and insane. so i decided that for this month, at the end of the week i would post something more reflective and personal to me. it would be something like this:
week 1 (this week): lessons learnt this year
week 2: things i'm grateful for this year
week 3: reflections (like everything that has happened)
week 4: new years resolutions
the arrangement may be ammended, but i really hope that i can do these 4 posts as i feel that it would really get me to sit down and reflect about the year thus far. no plans for the week so far so i think i may need to get started on my homework and revision. major turn OFF. and to most of my friends out there, happy holidays!

till next time x