JOWEEEEEN

this is everything i didn't say

the month thus far

Saturday, 26 September 2015 || 12:27 am

hello there. :-) so it's been around a month plus since i last updated my blog and i honestly have forgotten what have happened thus far, maybe because i have short term memory or maybe because i procrastinate a little too much. i'd say it's the former. 17 feels really old to me already. and since i'm pretty free right now, i might as well just update about what have happened so far this month. i'd say this month have been filled with ups and a couple of downs. i don't even know how i feel sometimes.

before we enter september let's just say on 30 august we had lunch with dayna julie and vivian at khatib hehe i laughed so much i cried-- legit. and julie was literally a merlion. though it was a short lunch, i enjoyed myself yay. :)

week 1 of september was a pretty short week, because it was teachers day week and so it was a 3-day school week YES!!!! no words could actually describe my happiness-- even though it meant less curriculum time and less time with tutors to consult for promos BUT WHATEVER, RIGHT? basically on monday tuesday and wednesday i was already looking forward to the long weekend, firstly because i had inconsistent headaches which sucked BIG TIME and secondly, i couldn't wait to go back to the alma mater. so on thursday, //we'll skip some part// we went back to cchy!! dang i miss that yishun place so much, it was so near to the mrt station and it had a shelter from the mrt station too okay (something which pj doesn't have oh well). i was just so glad to be back in chung cheng and so we sat with faith and hengjie and ku came afterwards (she was late. ahem.) and we watched the performances and stuff. I HAVE EVEN MISSED THE CHUNG CHENG HALL no joke. i'm so so proud of what the councillors have come up with and i'm extremely proud of the council dance especially!! yay council! hahaha. :) and then alice came and i finally had company!! so i passed kelvin his long long long belated card (HAHA) and then went to meet alice and we talked to ms norfida, yang laoshi and ms kaur and i took a polaroid with ku because our level of friendship is just meeting to take a polaroid picture (yup) and then we just slacked at the foyer and min ray came and we took pictures. only 10-ish people from our class was there but yay team 4F!! it was so good seeing so many familiar faces back at the familiar place! and then yuting finally came cos yea school ended late i guess HAHA. and so i managed to catch up with marcus- our friendship is really weird, like we were primary school classmates and once we entered secondary school we barely said a word to each other and now when we're in different JCs then we talked HAHAH. ah well. so we stayed until 12+ then i went out with yuting minray and alice! finally the 4 of us, and it was literally the best afternoon of the week! we went to woodlands and we bought those really cheap food and then we went to rp and eat and it felt pretty weird because we were in our school uniforms. then we just talked and slacked and minray slept for like i don't know how long then we headed to the library where we were supposed to study -- but i did not. minray slept for 1 entire hour plus i think!! and then yuting and alice were doing their work sometimes and slacking at other times. well i actually did try to study first but i couldn't okay. so yeah. then when minray woke up, we went to have some desserts and yuting started playing this aa game and alice realised my weak spot and we actually ran in the library with me trying to run away from a wild alice chasing after me omg hahahah. yeah. but then afterwards i don't even know what we did -- reminisced our secondary school days, talked, teased one another, laughed till i cried and had a stomachache, took pictures. it was so fun!! i have missed the old times with yall!!! they never fail to make my day. :) even though it was a very very unproductive day, i'm still so glad that i spent it with the people who helped me survive through my upper secondary school days. yay and then i went home, ready for the long weekend while the rest had dinner with the guys. and on friday morning we went to malaysia and ate and ate and ate and shopped and shopped and shopped and for the secondary consecutive day, i wasn't productive. i literally hated myself. and when we got back from malaysia we straight away went to church to like study, with tricia, but i didn't bring my materials so well.... it was a completely unproductive day for me. and oh well it was emotional too. i don't even know, don't ask me. on saturday, i went to study with ku at the library. we met at 9.45, though i was slightly late, and the line was already so long! what on earth. and i saw hongyi and i was so awkward i hid myself. i initially planned to stay till 6-ish (i wasn't incredibly productive) but i left at 7 instead. it was cool meeting that lil nanyang loser.

so then we move on to the second week of september, which was a happy yet stressful week for me because it was the holidays, as well as get-ready-for-promos-week. well. so on sunday we had service and after service i gave nathan his advanced birthday card so that he wouldn't suspect that we would be holding a surprise for him afterwards (HAHA). after church i went to have lunch with the mother and aunt first before meeting with kyla crish chelsia and the sister to get ready for nathan's surprise. so from compass we got a lot of stuff, and then we headed to tampines to meet nathan's friends i think they were amar, theophila, joseph and jiaxiang IF I'M NOT WRONG. but yeah while we were in the bus we were like freaking out but they were so chill and stuff HAHAH it was so funny but my hair was in a mess and it was so so so so so so hot no joke. so we first went to his house to get some stuff prepared but it was really messy. and when we learnt that nathan's bibletalk had ended, we were like oh no and so we went to a random void deck to prepare the water balloons, write some short notes and blow up the balloons hoping they won't burst. pretty messy, again. HAHA. then nathan's secondary school friends came and then FINALLY NICK AND HIS ENTIRE GANG CAME. yup. okay. so yeah we were really confused about where and how to surprise him so we ended up walking almost one whole round to under his block instead and sooooo yeah we waited for nathan to come down and nick was so funny he deliberately said "HI NATHAN" super loudly i almost laughed out loud. HAHAH and when he came down, everyone attacked him with the water balloons with soap. and we sang him a birthday song without a cake LOLOL WHAT. then we took pictures too -- his primary school friends, secondary school friends, then church friends. so many friends he has, then we went up and it was legit like a party. we took a group photo before having pizza dinner. it was awkward. well i was awkward. like man. hahaha don't even. but yea it was cool and pretty chill until after dinner when we started playing games. so we played a few games like murder, i have never, charades and the riff-off, trying to mix everyone up i guess. it was so so funny though, especially the riff-off when this one friend made up his own song and told everyone to sing along HAHAHA it was just so funny on the actual day itself, like we kept singing the same songs over and over again. and the coolest part, if you ask me, was when we sang drag me down. i was like hell yeaaaa!!! hahaha yeah when everybody, or almost everybody sang together, it was super cool!! though we didn't know one another personally, but like we knew the songs, so we were like connected at a certain level HAHA. and then they started telling really random stories, which were really very very funny i laughed so much my cheeks actually hurt! like nathan's friends were super open and cool hahaha but yea the stories were really very funny especially like the way they said it. HAHAH then we took individual photos with nathan before heading home at like 9.30-ish. it was a fun day!! :) happy advanced birthday from (probably) the most amazing group of friends you can have! haha. and on monday (happy birthday nathan) i literally didn't do anything at all. maybe a bit. but it wasn't very productive because... i stayed at home and home is not the ideal place for me to study in oh well. okay. on tuesday, we went back to school for almost a whole day of consultations. like literally all the H2 subjects i think, from one subject to another. and i was so dead tired at the end of the day i had a headache. but oh well i guess it's a good start for the week since monday wasn't very good. on tuesday, i went to study with yuting at the library. we queued at like 9.30 i think! and we were quite infront, though the line grew longer every minute. saw a lot of familiar faces be it from secondary school or jc lol awkward okayyyyy... and i'm glad to say it was quite a productive day yes i love the library but i hate how crowded it is. lunch was with yuting, rachel and junwei and okay, THAT was awkward. hahahah. on wednesday, went to study with goh yu ting again and this time lunch was with her rachel and audrey and the guys were like kaien junwei and shuenwei and ,marcus i think lol all the s24 people i cannot. but yah it was quite productive i think!! like i stayed till night-- the first time in a very long time. and while walking out of the library, i saw hongyi and kelly hahahah. but yeah the past two days were quite productive. on friday morning, i was supposed to meet my dgroup for breakfast at nex and i was the earliest. hahaha yay me. we had breakfast at nex and i felt that the dgroup was a good start, especially since there was a little awkwardness, or maybe it's just me yeah. then i studied with crish at smoothie king, luckily we got seats and did not get chased out. and that's where we tried to guess people's ages. like there was this group of guys who looked like they were gonna do A's but no they were studying for O's. HAHA. and me and crish had to always use the bathroom and i think the people beside us felt that we were weird HAHAH. and then we stopped at like 5 and walked around and slacked at a corner before meeting xueyi caryl bev violet and daynz for dinner! it was a short but good dinner. :) and then on saturday i went to church early with crish to hopefully study but it wasn't a really productive time and yeah service at night afterwards. and while going back home, in the bus, we were with a big group of campus people because they were going for supper together and then we found company - julie!!!! yayyyyyyy!! an awkward and boring busride suddenly felt comforting in every way possible because of that one familiar face! and we talked to martin too, cos he sat beside me. and while julie was selfie-ing ryan (who was sitting beside her) and matthew tried getting into the picture HAHA. and there's this one time when everyone was extremely loud and then sean said like "aiyo you see come campus come singles become like that ah" AHAHAHAH. but yeah it kinda was a good bus ride and so julie went home with her brother and yayyyyy good end to the day even though it was kinda sucky.

moving on to week 3, aka, promos week, better known as death week for me because i was totally unprepared. on sunday i went to study with gyt that familiar cchy-pioneer face! had breakfast at cbtl before that with the mum and dang, it was super filling. and yeah i guess it was kinda productive because the promo stress had started to kick in already. saw yini and katherine and chun ping and other familiar faces, okay i can't exactly remember on which day did i see which familiar face la okay. so yeah. anyways i am super grateful for the people who texted me goodluck, whether it was long texts or not, i really appreciated it! i was super shocked by ku's text especially HAHAH i doubted that it was her and thought that she was sick but ok luv u ku. so mondays and tuesdays were consultation days, and on these two days i definitely did went back to school for consultations because i was so scared. i think i had like 4 hours long of gp consultation and lessons on one of these days. and on monday, we ended quite early so i went to have lunch with the sister at bishan first before heading to crash ny because ku had been telling me to crash ny ever since.. i don't know when and she was desperate for me to be there la HAHA. oh well. she fetched us from lc with her whole school bag, thanks man, and we saw a couple of familiar faces like jj (whom we saw at the mrt), sheryl (whom we talked to afterwards), yizhen (nh dance), marcus, and other random cchy people cos we were sitting at the seashell wall and a lot of people passed by and we felt restless so we just talked instead. then we decided to go to the library to study. and apparently sitting at the table next to ours were some popz j2 guys and ku wanted to show us someone but no. then alice came and the guys just turned around because one of them was her classmate. HAHAHA it was a great 10 minutes just talking to her and laughing!!!! sooo we studied, and seeing ku's interaction with her class guys was so funny cos i grew up in secondary school with her, both being allergic to guys, except for danny. HAHAH. so yeah we studied till like 7.30+ then we walked to nex. WHAT THE NY IS SO NEAR TO NEX. it was hazy. so ku was like "i can't wait to smell fresh air" "where" "nex" HAHAHA damn funny. and we decided to eat eighteen chefs and when ku saw her econs teacher, she just laughed then i'm like WHAT. then there's another group of ny guys after us HAH. okay anyway it was a good dinner and kinda like a good day yay!!!!! and on tuesday after all the consults, i went back home and prepared for promos. gah. whatever. wednesday was gp and it was our first exam in the hall. thursday was history in the afternoon and we had math consultation before that and yea during the exam i was sitting beside some zaikia from a02 and a07 and i was so stressed but i think this time i wrote more, even though i think some of my facts are pretty messed up oops. friday was english lit and math and hip hip hooray i was half done with promos! straight away went to church and i felt neutral i guess. with promos ending soon and i guess kinda emotional too, i hate myself. on saturday, went to study with ku!!!! i went early to queue and that woman was late. zz. saw a group os s24 people again HAHA. oh well and it was so funny cos the last time i saw ku, which was on monday, my promos was gonna start and now, my promos were gonna end already. HAHAH laughing at you ya. it was kinda somehow quite okay-ish productive i guess! there were lots of cchy people!! and we saw hengjie yay!!!!!! hahahah. :) had lunch at subway where i saw some people omg and we didnt get a warning letter HAHAH and then had llaollao for dinner and she got a sanum in the end, because she wanted to get a petite intially hah loser. and we stayed till the library closed and we saw xintien HAHA. and yeah that was the end of the third week.

fourth week of september!!!!!!!!! so on sunday it was a normal service and i think i didn't really have the mood to do anything so, i just directly went off after service. and yeah didn't do much for the remaining papers but oh well. monday was literally the worst day because it was lit and history and that makes it like 4 essays i could literally feel the muscles forming in my arms okay. but yeah at the end of the day i felt a little bit lazy because promos was coming to an end!! tuesday was the last paper and it was econs. i think i died. BUT HELLO GUYS. MY PROMOS HAVE OFFICIALLY ENDED. 5 day weekend awaits me!!! but since me and joey had no friends and no plans, we went to watch the scorch trials ourselves. the movie theatre was quite empty so yay!! and it was so good i was internally spazzing over the guys. okay. HAHAH and i went back home and learnt a short dance (omg i miss dance so much) and then watched the maze runner, pitch perfect and pitch perfect 2, and i ended up sleeping at 4.30am..... which pretty much messed up my whole sleep cycle for the rest of my 5-day holidays but oh well pitch perfect was good it got me attracted to acapella!! on wednesday, i woke up in the afternoon and didn't do much before going to spendtime with my mentor at compass. it felt refreshing and i honestly feel so much better than pre-promos!! we talked about a lot of things.. even about retaining //prays for promos results// and then i went back home and watched camp rock and camp rock 2. dang, my childhood, in one night, it gave me the chills. and guys who sing (joe jonas) are really attractive okayyyyyy. and on thursday we were supposed to wake up at 5 to send mum off to the airport cos she was going to jakarta (WITHOUT US. WHAT.) but i woke up at 6.30 instead and she left already and then i went back to sleep and when i woke up at 11.30, she was in jakarta already. mannnnnnn. i need a holiday break too man. so yea we went out for brunch, got xiao long bao weeeheee heeee i am a happy girl. and then we were supposed to go visit popo but change of plans, so dad dropped us at causeway point where me and joey walked from cotton on (THERE WAS A SALE OMG AND I HAD TO GET SOMETHING AND I GOT TWO DRESSES OMG) to rubi shoes (which had a sale too) to factorie to cotton on again and to rubi shoes again because we literally had nothing to do. but then again, we got to sleep in and go out without feeling guilty. :) then we went back home and prepared some study packs for my good ole friends who were gonna be doing their O's and promos really soon. then i watched high school musical 1, 2, and 3 and i literally had the feels and felt emotional because again, my childhood in one day. :') zac efron, my childhood crush, and high school musical was literally my dream when growing up. okay who am i kidding. hahahha i'm in singapore. and the psi was more like 300 and so all primary and secondary schools are closed on friday well done friends. and all those tweets about jc kids were so funny HAHA. and on friday i woke up at 6, in the psi level of over 300, travelled to chong pang, supposed to meet ku at 6.50 for breakfast. and guess what, that woman was 40 minutes late cos she went back to sleep. i hate her so much. so we made her look retarded carrying a lot of things and ku if you're reading this, the next time i meet you i'm gonna be super late man. super. so we walked to yishun mrt in the haze and i was like oh my tian the whole time HAHA. and so me and joey headed to civics starbucks to meet some people to pass them their study packs. hengjie, kaiwen, jiahui, faith who was gonna study at starbucks, and yini who took the pack, went to the library and in the end decided to come to starbucks to study HAHAH LAME GIRL. LAME. so we watched justin bieber's believe tour while waiting for the people to arrive. and i think all me and joey did were occupy space, take selfies and made a lot of noise cos everyone else was studying and well, our promos had ended. apologies to everybody hahahahahaha. and we went to have lunch at 2 before we headed home while the other two O level kids went back to study. it was a really really good half day with half the bithes!!! :)))) and i'm still trying to find things to entertain myself with because i don't want my long weekend to go to waste but everybody's having exams so oh well, i'll rot.

so that's how my september had been so far. just like i said in the beginning, it was a stressful, relieving, emotional month for me thus far. hoping that things will get better as the year comes to an end really really soon. like wow, in 3 months time we'll be bidding 2015 goodbye! and so many things will happen during this 3 months, i can feel it, so many things will happen. good or bad, i have no idea, but it's all God's plan, and i'm obviously praying that it'll be good. now, it;s time to focus on OP and my relationship with God and i guess, make the rest of the 3 months of 2015 count and matter.

to all my friends who are taking their major exams, be it national exams or promos, i wish you all the very best, jiayou okay, you guys can pull through this period of time! it will be over in a blink of an eye, just like how my promos had been! :D love you all ya!!!!

//i'm paranoid. i'm insignificant. why do i still care when others have stopped? why am i still clinging on to that single thread of hope? get over it already. let it go. every single thing from the past.

till next time x