JOWEEEEEN

this is everything i didn't say

youth day long weekend

Monday, 27 July 2015 || 9:31 pm

and yet another long weekend this week because monday will be a youth day holiday! 6 weeks to promos and i honestly still have no idea what i am doing with my life but i had quite an interesting weekend i guess and here's how it went:

24/7 friday
it had been a long week. and really, tgif. for pe we continued playing hockey and the sun was so hot and annoying and mr ong dismissed us early at like 3.45 because of ptm, and our slot was at like 4pm. so apparently the teacher whom we met was mr omar i have no idea where ms goh was but it was okay. i mean teacher was like "they're really nice girls" and stuff HAHAH and little did i know that we could actually consult him for history both IH and SEA. yea and we were looking through our mid years results and the only failure was a history and mr omar went like "and look both your ct and co-ct are history teachers" i'm like okay okay okayyyyy. HAHAH the whole ptm was actually quite fast then we went to woodlands mac to have dinner because i was having a weird craving for mac???? aka fats though but. and we headed to church at around 5.30 and reached church pretty early. we had a split service today and for the sisters, we had sonia maria and sarah to share for us, and it was truly something that i needed to reflect on. and we learnt that it was their last week in singapore already, time flies!! afterwards we talked to sarah for a bit catching up on life since hyc was like 2 years ago?!?!? and then we talked to maria for awhile before heading home. it was a good midweek. :)

25/7 saturday
i literally did nothing the whole day i even took an afternoon nap. i really need to wake up. the only thinig i did today was annotating a poem halfway, doing my gp compre paper halfway and writing the ts for an ih bp so :-) messed :-) up :-). but anyways we went to have dinner near the cuzzie's place cos it was grandma's birthday. and enver is already wearing specs already omg and he doesn't recognise us which is so very very very sad but oh well. and we learnt that malcolm's girlfriend is actually our senior who took egcse math and was from malay dance woah what a small world right!!! and for dinner we had crabs and fish and fish slices and boneless chicken it was so yum!!! the chili crab and salted egg crab was like the bomb and my stomach is satisfied. but dinner was super late though and i feel myself growing fat fat fatttt. having such a good meal makes me feel so guilty for not being productive in the day hmm.

26/7 sunday
well sunday was a very interesting day hmm. tricia was early, probably the second time this year though. and she had spend time with syndarelle. then we talked to joseph teo about jc once again and telling him to come to pj because it would literally be so cool if he came!!!!!!! and then ray came and ask for history notes and he looks so prepared for o's even though he claims that he's stressed. i left like plus minus 30 school days to promos what is life right. hahahah chill friend and go JC yes you guys must continue the DJC legacy aye!!!!!! and today, the youth band led the worship!!!!! love love love the youth band and all the talented teens and campus in there!!! lesson was by shawn wooten as andrew was gonna be studying in yale-nus for the next 4 years :O and i'm here hoping that i will be promoted to J2 ha ha ha... but anyways it was a really really great service!!! and afterwards we were deciding where to go for lunch then renee rachel and elaine were all telling us to go to campus lunch and i was like okayyyy cos i didn't have anywhere else to go and dayna was reluctant, but decided to go in the end yay and eysia too!!!! i was super scared though because i have never gone to a campus thing before and because well i was in the little jc ministry. we had old chang kee because happy hawkers was way tooooo crowded. and when we went to the shelter near giant where the lunch was, boy were there a lot of campus people! we sat in several circles and had lunch and talked. it was okay, and me and dayna were wondering why were freaking out so much in the first place HAHA. and at around 1.30+++, we played games and i got really nervous. we were split into 6 groups and thankfully for me i was in the same group as dayna with ryan wesley jay rj brenda thaddaeus lude matthew i dont know if i missed out people or not. but the first station was volleyball with a twist and it was super funny i got a piece of paper and missed it ok HAHAHA but yeah watching thaddaeus hit the paper ball with a pair of chopsticks surprised all of us. it was a really funny match to watch!! and at the second station, there were 3 sub stations. at the first sub station 6 people had to drink half a cup of sprite (or not sprite if you're unlucky) and then flip the cup one after another. (this part was really intense). then at the second sub station, one person had to 'click' the mechanical pencil and get two lead out of it and wesley did it, maybe being in frisbee helps the hand muscles HAHAHA. and at the third substation which me and brenda did, we had a paper in between our arms and we had to walk from the top of slope to the end and up again. it was scary cos our paper almost dropped HAHA. and at the final station, it was word battle and the other group was like filled with uni sisters what even!!! but yeah we had to guess the word that the other group had to say but we're really bad at it even after a couple of rounds HAHAH. and that was the end of campus lunch and i guess it was pretty okay. it ended at 3.30 and our initial plan was to leave at 3 HAHA but yeah it was time with dayna again!!!!

27/7 monday
say yes to the long weekend!!!!! initially wanted to wake up early to do a bit of work but nah, that didn't work out. so anyway we were supposed to meet maria sarah van and crish at 12 at lorong chuan mrt because we wanted to have lunch at wimbly lu. but little did we know that wimbly lu was closed on mondays!! btw we were early and the rest were late, sarah and maria were with renee and so renee joined us!!! so we met crish and van 20 minutes past 12 at lorong chuan deciding where to eat and listing our all the places and we decided on four fingers at plaza sing. and when we called renee, they were at serangoon so they waited for us there while we took the train to serangoon which meant that crish made a wasted trip HAHAH. we were ideed lucky to have found seats easily that could fit 7 people. and so everyone else went to buy except for me and maria and we talked. it was kinda like an impromptu spend time just the two of us as the rest ordered their food. and it was pretty cool cos we never really talked before, and as for sarah i did talk to her during the dj class and met her in hyc two years ago. so yeah. four fingers was really gooooooood!!!!! and we talked about a lot of things like school, studies, and even dates. HAHAHA it was so funny. and we talked all the way until 2+ i think and took a group photo and walked around a little gift shop before renee left earlier and we split ways. maria was going to a cafe, crish sarah and joey went home and i went to study with vanessa. it was a really good afternoon with good food and greater company!!! i wouldn't have imagined spending time with maria and sarah as they were in the campus ministry and we were in the mini jc group part of the teens HAHAH. but yay!! :) so me and vanessa went to bishan and we wanted to study at bishan library but it was crowded, literally, and we saw jared and his brother and aunty joyce. then we decided to study at mos burger where i actually bought more food omg..... but yeah we studied there and sometimes talked and then halfway through got gongcha. :-) and it was so funny cos while we were doing work halfway suddenly vanessa burped really loudly and i laughed till my face turned red and i could literally feel my face turn hot HAHAHA. we did our work but it was kinda slow but we studied till almost 7.30 and i'm gonna see her in school tomorrow??!?!?!?!????

so yeah that's how my long weekend was like, good food with great company and 6/7 weeks left to promos umm????

till next time x

crashing ij

Wednesday, 22 July 2015 || 9:00 pm

school ended at 1 today for us because it was the A levels mother tongue listening compre. still grateful that i passed higher chinese till this day, we were dismissed at 1. the initial plan for me was to meet ku, pass her the dance tee money and study with her at woodlands library. but plans changed at the last minute and today, i believe that impromptu plans are the best. we crashed IJ.

so basically after putting my bag in the library, me and joey went to pastamania for lunch, well because student price is dabomb HAHA and that;s where we saw fithri, who was with a group of friends. gosh. we must have looked like losers because it's just the two of us. and then i texted crish and she said she was at causeway point and i told her to come and she came!!! so i finally got to see crish in woodlands after 6 months. :) she knew some of the IJ people there #popz and she was saying that her social life in JC is tamed. like i believe you crish. and because crish was alone and she had to go back to school, she was like "eh ya'll can like send me to school" and then we talked and talked and talked and came up with the idea of crashing IJ?! i was hesitant at first but at around 2.45, we were on our way to IJ, with my bag in the library. the true meaning of yolo. me and joey were honestly so scared that we would bump into any teacher or even the principal. and crish was reassuring us like "it's okay they don't even care i'm serious" and as IJ got into view, crish herself was feeling nervous HAHAH.

so it was crish's idea to go to the gate that was near the classroom block. and guess who we saw at the gate? her history teacher! so we casually waited outside for like 10-ish minutes for the teacher and the student to be gone HAHA. and then one of crish's friend, who was also cindy's friend came out. crish went to say hi to them and this girl was like "I KNOW THEM" and we were like huh??? and she's like "CINDY.... COUSINS!" and we just laughed because we recalled that time when us and cindy pranked her (and her other friends) that we were sisters then cousins HAHAHA. and after the what-seems-like-eternity wait, the teacher finally went off and we could finally go in. crish, being the smartypants, said that the gate thing would spin twice and so she would only have to do the fingerprint thing once. so i went after them and i was stuck and crish had to come out again and scan her fingerprint again. so much for saying that the gate would spin twice, crish. so on our way to the canteen, we passed by the field and the classroom block and then we saw a teacher's backview and we ran HAHAH omg the fear of getting caught was real. remember when i said that crish was alone? she said that she would have no friends in school, and that was utter rubbish! because once she got to the canteen, she spotted her friends and sat with them. crish was telling us to join them, but we only joined a minute later because //awkward// HAHA. so her friends there were blashleey. adam and another malay guy. it was a little awkward, but we said hi and smiled and laughed at crish i think. then crish wanted to go and see other people and she left us and blashleey was like "wow what a great friend right, leaving you guys here" HAHAHA. then so we went to another table where we saw crish's other group of friends which included nina, and we sat at a separate table to have a view of other people. we shall just call them bob and luke. bob wore his spectacles half the time when we were there. and he was friends with luke apparently and they were sitting with this other guy. when bob and luke left somewhere and the friend was sleeping, crish went over to ask the sleeping friend for a phone cable and joey was like "crish, wrong guy" HAHAHA. then we talked and crish called blashleey over. and he's actually pretty funny especially when he finally realised we were twins like "eh you're twins?!" HAHAH. then we shifted to another table because crish claimed that we were talking about bob and luke too loudly HAHA. blashleey asked how we knew crish and we came up with a story that we were at ecp one day and crish was cycling and she suddenly fell down and crish cut in saying that we met because we were beggars there HAHAHA WHAT. then the two of them kept insulting each other saying that the dustbin were their twins omg i laughed soooo hard! and when blashleey said that he would call adam over, she was like "huh but like very bad leh take him away from his friends (because he was with his group of friends i think)" and he went "you also took me away from them what" and she replied with a "no one cares about you la" it was so funny, but adam came over too and we just laughed and talked and stuff and they also talked about the twins thing again like adam said "at first when i saw them i was like 'eh twins' then after a moment i was like 'nooooo....'" and crish said that adam was better than blashleey because at least he realised that we were twins earlier than blashleey did HAHAHA then fithri joined us after her lunch and we talked about chung cheng and people who were in PJ HAHAHA. we talked about old things that happened in chung cheng too then suddenly they were all discussing about fithri. and at about 3.45-ish, the chinese students came down from their lc and we saw pengsoon. he was so shocked to see us though, and he didn't even realise we were there the first time he passed by us HAHAH. then that was also when fithri bashleey and adam had to soon leave for their own lc and crish was like "after bashleey go you will see jerrell, and taking over adam will be pengsoon and aashley" and w're like who are they man HAHAH. yeah then the three of them left and they said bye and crish rushed off to frisbee training with pengsoon and jiahui came down!!!! but unfortunately, cindy had class meeting so i couldn't see her. haziq came down for awhile before his lc, and he really slimmed down quite abit eh,just as fithri had said! hahaha then we stayed awhile more until luke left, and then we left after awhile while crish was running under the REALLY HOT SUN. and in the bus, we were looking at samples of our class photos HAHAHA.

and that was how crashing IJ for the first time went like!

and when we were on the way to the library to meet ku, we saw faith at cwp and we're like HEYYYYYYYY!!!! hahaha yay and i studied for awhile with ku and at 6 i got mocha frappe, she got sushi and we went to a hobo side near the mrt and talked about crashing ny. bit she's a busy mugger so she won't have time to entertain me la HAHAHA.

'twas a good day. :)

till next time x

hari raya weekend

Sunday, 19 July 2015 || 9:25 pm

this past weekend was the first of many long weekends for this term :) so yay!!! school on thursday was so long and draggy though lessons ended quite early at 3.30, but probably because the want to go back home and enjoy the long weekend was so strong that time seem to pass super slowly. surrounded myself with christians on friday and half of sunday, and saturday was stay home day, but it wasn't productive. hence i have concluded that i have wasted my weekend away, snacking and eating and not doing much work. //disappointed

on friday morning, the JC ministry had a devo at macritchie reservoir. dad brought us along with dayna and hence we were super early. there was quite an attendance, me joey dayna theo vanessa davis ivan perry violet regine joel bev marissa tianyi tianyi'sfriend janelle xueyi (and crish who was late) and so we started off with the JC singing tradition, where we had to stand in a circle, and in one round, we have to lead a song each, without repetition and it had to be simultaneous. it was so scary ok!!! like when people sang the song you wanted to sing!!!! especially for the second song when i wanted to lead reign in me (i even googled the lyrics cos i kinda forgot) but then janelle, who was two persons in front of me started singing that song i literally like freaked out. and then it was theo's turn and i was next and i legit started freaking out. but just in time crish called me OMG CRISH I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS BUT YOU ARE MY SAVIOr!!!! and yes that was how late crish was, like 50 minutes late and when we're into the second round of this singing thing HAHAH. afterwards we found a spot and janelle vanessa tianyi and joel prayed, closed up with uncle danny. afterwards we split up into pairs for prayer and i had some time with janelle. tbh it's been a long time since i had spend time with her and the short 15 minutes or so catch up with janelle about school, family, friends and spiritual life, was great. i'm so grateful for janelle because we used to be so close back in our primary school days and despite us being not close anymore, she's still someone i feel comfortable with one on one. and after the catchup time, we had prayer and then we headed back to join the crew. we discussed about our new edition of djc tee, and outing for the SG50 public holiday (HAHA) at the same time, it was a great time of food and fellowship as i watched some people play frisbee as well as card games. we left at around 1.30 - 2 ish and me and joey accompanied crish and vanessa to bishan where they got their koi and we bade farewell to vanessa, and then we headed to serangoon where me and joey got sogurt and the three of us hung around the nex rooftop as we had a lot of time to spare. and we talked for around 1 hour plus about teachers and crashing each others' school hahah then around 3.15ish, me and joey headed to church while crish went home. we came to church for julie and tricia ya ok. and in the end tricia came late zzz so done with xiao lianzxc. but yeah, service started a little later than 4 today and so we caught up with ban tzu. it's been so so long, even though it's only been 2/3 months. and then service started and it was a small group of people and this shows that the presence and absence of JC people makes a difference. HAHA. before lesson, we played a game and it was a pretty funny real life version of spot the difference. i was so mean but it was so funny to tell nick to open his eyes to make the difference, and to guess that the difference was nick's eye size. omg i'm so sorry nick i still love you!!!!!!!! but it was so funny ok HAHAHA. yeah so basically me and joey were the only JC people in the teens service but it's fiiiiiiine and i literally surrounded myself with church people for almost the whole day today.

saturday was a stay home day. me and joey and jiajuan ate like 5 packs of pocky or something no joke. only completed 1/4 of my homework. it was a slack lazy and unproductive day. need i say more? yes. ever since the first day i stepped into JC i told myself that i need to be hardworking and stop being such a lazy bum but i guess that's not working and that sucks a lot. ugh.

sunday morning, had breakfast with a few JC sisters, just me joey vanessa violet renee and elaine. elaine told us about her trip to japan, and we talked about university and stuff and tbh i am so scared for uni HAHAHA let's just stay with the short term goals of promos and then A's first before moving on to uni yeah? even though it was only a few of us, i truly am grateful for renee for planning this breakfast! especially since she'll be going off to new jersey for her university next month! and i had really bad cramps halfway through service today it sucked so much i almost wanted to cry ok pssh. anyways, had lunch with crish tricia dayna julie alicia and joey at compass yoshinoya!!!! it was a good good time since i feel that it's been so long since i had a meal with tricia crish and daynz. :) we took 85 and walked from opposite the kopitiam square and in the bus we kept laughing as daynz could not have a say in where we wanted to eat HAHAH we talked and laughed a lot although i forgot what we talked about. then crish's friend peng soon came hahah and we tried to talk to him a little. singapore is so small, he knows kelvin and faith. :) yeah and we left compass at around 3pm. it was a good morning and afternoon :)

one week down to prepare myself for promos. let's do this!!!!!!!!! i hate telling myself to stay motivated and end up slacking during the weekends urgh. the struggle is real. but then again it's probably because of the arts subjects that i'm taking that makes me laze around as it's mostly reading for the content while the science subjects is more of practicing the formulas. (yes i know we need the skills for essay writing but then we need the content first before we can move on to writing essays!!!) anyways hopefully this week will be good. even though i already have a feeling that it won't be too pleasant sigh, i don't even know why. press on, Joween. study. quiet time. priorities. needs vs wants.

//to give up or to persevere. to hold on or to let it go. people say that if we get stuck in the past, we won't be able to move on. but there's this hope in me that things will get back to normal. that everything will be okay. but then other times i doubt that things will ever be the same again. it's confusing me so much.

till next time x

stress

Wednesday, 15 July 2015 || 9:45 pm

well, well, how do i start. a bit of things have happened ever since i last updated my blog which was earlier this month i think? we got back our midyears results (WOT), shinefest and dining etiquette with ambass.

so yeah the teachers in PJ are power markers and amazingly they finished marking our papers and we got back most of our results last week. i guess i did pretty okay. not very good, but not very bad either. i managed to pass all my subjects except for history ((ugh sea history)) but then again i'm only lucky for mid years because i know very clearly how much i lazed around during the june holidays. it's like 7 weeks left to promos and i'm so freaking scared. ms geri will be leaving us at the end of the month and that means we got a new teacher (!!!) and i really can't laze around anymore it's promos for goodness sake and i got to get at least an S for every subject and one H2 E to meet the promotional criteria!!! save me please someone. plus the fact that we're one of the worst-performing class for midyears...... i can't let these next two months be gone without doing anything. we had a talk with mrs tan today and she went through our school calendar for this coming semester and we have quite a bit of holidays (YESSS) but then again after promos, we'll be having pw intensives //cries// okay let's get down to business.

shinefest 2015!!!! it was from 10-12 july and i went with joey on the 11th of july cos that was the main day woohoo!! we were at town at around 4-ish like that and we walked all the way from orchard to somerset and got godiva icecream which was really really good!!!! then we took a picture with gerald koh from 987fm. the bro code actually came down to our school yesterday for the J2s assembly and the J1s are freaking left out okay!!! sadly, joakim was at ne show, and so my last picture with him remains all the way back in 2012. then at around 12, we went to the ion stage and i was feeling so restless. we stood around and sat and waited until the show started at like 6.30 plus!! there was the jrod twins, danakadan with narelle kheng and shigga shay, jun curry ahn, david choi, arden cho and finally, ryan higa. most of the crowd was there for ryan higa, so they were super dead during the other youtubers' items. but what the heck where's the spirit??? so me and my sister literally just screamed and cheered like nobody's business during all the shows. people in front even covered their ears. but hey let's face it, even if you're there only for ryan higa, doesn't mean you don't show some support to the other youtubers and just be dead, right? cheer for them! for some of them it's even their first performance in singapore so just be crazy!!!!! don't regret cheering like crazy for them!! HAHA and it was so cool because while the jrod twins were singing blank space, the sg50 plane flew by in the form of the number "50" and we all cheered. all of the youtubers sang some songs, originals and all, exception of curry he danced and played the violin omg!!!! and ryan even danced and sang too!!!! it was a crazy 4 hours plus of standing and jumping and screaming and snapchatting, my story added up to like 600+ seconds. dear friends, i am very sorry. but it was a really crazy night i ALMOST lost my voice HAHAH yeah and then yuting and kaien took a picture with dan and i just slot myself inside. coincidentally met them and marcus cos they were doing ow stuff and then we headed home together. imagine if i'd taken standing for otra it would have been crazier (and squeezier)!!!

and on wednesday 15/7 we had dining etiquette workshop with ambass at mount faber safra. the bus ride was like, 40 minutes long omg and the duration of the workshop was around 2 hours long. it was so awkward having to wear a formal dress in school. well, i was awkward. and we had a three course meal there it was so good but i felt so stressed eating because well, etiquette. but the food was good and that's the main thing besides the two okay-awkward hours at the table. and after the whole thing, the J1 excos gave the J2s a little something because it's their last event in the ambassadors and Jay introduced to us the new batch of excos. and yeah it was an almost 2 hour long journey home i'm crying and i'm so tired i'm gonna sleep early and i'm so happy tomorrow is the last day of school for the week!!!

and now for pe we're doing hockey and we have to do lunges and no joke, my butt hurts like mad. we (the girls) just kept complaining about our aching butts and how uncomfortable it is HAHAH but it's ok it's good exercise i guess!!! and on tuesday 12/7 before pe we took a class-house photo and that was our first ever full strength class photo. finally. after 5 months together. HAHA.

say i'm crazy, but i really really want to go to a HYC in America i'm gonna save up and go before i'm 25. #lifegoals for now i need to study and study and study and promote and do well for A's and go to uni and work and earn money before i can enjoy life ok. focus focus focus prioritise prioritise prioritise.

//recently things have been so different. i guess it's true that things change over time. now i know how naive i was to believe that some things can remain the same. in the end, there's a "lie" in "believe".

till next time. x

post mid years

Sunday, 5 July 2015 || 9:08 pm

post mid years weekend just passed and what, term 3 week 2 begins tomorrow. i dread. seriously. tomorrow was supposed to be marking day but then they changed to post mid year activities which is a total mood spoiler okay. anyways this was how my post mid years weekend went:

on friday after my international history paper, i went back home and slacked for a couple of hours before heading to town to meet alice and minray. i was supposed to meet alice first to go window shopping but then as expected, she was late HAHA so i went to look around somerset by myself first and met alice after an hour. we went to see more clothes and i bought a top from temt because i need clothes!!!!! omg hahahah then we walked around somemore and i tried more clothes and then minray came at around 5 plus ish??? and we headed to ewf to have my lunch because cravings and i saw derrick after passing by him HAHA and i also passed him the card. minray and alice watched me eat and stole my fries (not really, i offered them) and alice even ate the fries of the previous patron's leftovers?? omg ew. HAHAHA. then as we were taking a selfie there was this SA dude who caught minray and alice's attention and alice sneakily took a picture of him whaaaaaaaaat. zixuan joined us afterwards and we talked and laughed and talked and laughed. then we went outside to take pictures and slsp was playing!!!!!!!! basic sorry HAHAH. the wind was blowing our hair all over so we went in to take pictures instead. they were going to meet kaien and damien for dinner at farrer park, so they took the train to dhoby ghaut with me, and we saw xubin and dawn at somerset mrt???? zixuan and alice were super loud and obvious near dawn they were like "eh want take picture anot want anot want anot" then i had to shush them omg. in the end we took a selfie in the train since we were going in the same direction but xubin went to the other direction. wooooooo she's so tall and friendly and nice!!!!1 and she alighted at dhoby ghaut too HAHA. minray alice and zixuan waited for the guys at dhoby ghaut mrt station so i went to punggol first. and when i was at buangkok, tricia called me because she was a loner hahahaha lil poop and she waited for me at the church busstop for at least 15 minutes? awwww but it's been almost two weeks since i last saw that woman and her height still remains the same. ;) and service today was by uncle gin kai which ended really early and it was so funny talking to joseph teo after service because he finally got a haircut!!!!! finally!!!!!! and seeing vanessa who is not yet done with her mid years hohoho!! laughed so much telling joseph teo to come to PJ HAHA!!

on saturday, me and the sisters made an impromptu decision to go to town.......... again HAHA. we had our brunch at kfc before walking around the flee at scape. and that's where we saw celine, she totally "excuse me" on me and she didn't see me and i was like "celine ah????" HAHAH turns out she was shopping alone!!! then we went to h&m and i tried some clothes on because omg sales!!!!! then we also went to cotton and temt. bought a floral dress from cotton on, but not formal enough for dining etiquette hah. i have too many clothes with prints on them!!! but okay whatever. then we went back to h&m again and bought this really flowery dress which i like a lot!!!!!!!! so i don't really care if it's too flowery ok i don't dress to please you. but then it's still too informal for dining etiquette workshop HAHA. but whatever. then we met mum and aunt at amk to get a cardigan and we got one!!!! afterwards joey went home first while we went to some coffeeshop opposite julie's school, with some other relatives for crabs!!!! it was cousin's treat bc aunt's birthday! but then we had to queue for like one and a half hours, my poor legs walking around the whole day. by the time we started eating, it was around 8pm but we had 3 crabs and fried spare ribs and it was so good!!!! so yummy i'm not even kidding i want to eat crabs right now!!!!! the food was really good, but the waiting time sucked HAHA.

and on sunday we reached church relatively early at around 10+ and we dragged julie, who just came down from the m floor, to go to m floor with us to get breakfast much love julie much love. then at the third floor we talked to kim a little, who was gonna share for the poor con about her hyc experience and i'm like omg hyc. i don't think i'll be able to go on a hyc anytime soon, since there's promos and A's and i'd probably have to save some money for uni. //thinking ahead// HAHAH. and for the first time crish was the earliest because she had spend time but then, she was late for her spend time so whatever crish, whatever. today's worship was great!!! totally loved it, and prayer was led by nathan. yay good job friend!!!! and today's sermon about love coincided with this past week's quiet time which was on the theme of love, which i really really have to work on especially in the situations that i'm in right now, loving people can be a challenge for me. but it's okay, working on it with God leading me. had lunch with dayna at yishun for the first time!!! we had always wanted to have lunch in the north but couldn't because crish lived at serangoon and tricia lived at punggol so we were so sian!! but finally we can eat somewhere near home! we had subway because there really isn't much things to eat at northpoint hahaha then i went to cwp cotton on/ factorie/ uniqlo with joey just trying to some find formal clothes for dining etiquette. sos: i need to wear heels but i don't want omg.......

so that was how my weekend went like, spending money like nobody's business omg i need to work after my promos really. and next year after A's too. and like work hard for JC and go to a good course and get a good job and stuff. life is stressful. being a female is stressful too.

term 3 week 2 here i come.

till next time x

if we could only turn back time

Friday, 3 July 2015 || 11:20 am

omg time flies in the blink of an eye the june holidays have come and gone and now we're in july!!!! also, my mid years have just ended and yes, i'm officially done with semester 2 week 1!!!!! i can say, i survived one whole week of writing essays, because my subject combination is literally all essay writing, except for math and pw i guess????? econs history lit math, i guess the pains of being an arts student is that your master hand will develop more muscles and you cry everytime your pen ink finishes. even though it's only mid years that's over, i feel so so relieved now it feels like i just did my A's but HAH no. now i'm just mentally preparing myself for my results which i predict will not be very good looking considering how unprepared i was for the papers and how i only legit started studying during the last week of june holidays. yes i'm shaking my head at myself too alright. i am now determined to start studying for my promos which is around 3 months time. please kick my butt if you see me lazing around and procrastinating and doing nothing but sleeping and eating all day okay. i kinda reckon that's gonna happen oh gosh.

so moving on the next couple of months are most probably gonna be very tough and stressful. (imagine next year though) (that's if i promote) with promos coming in the way and pw going full on after, i think i might just go crazy. but then again i'm not the only one going through school, hundreds of other students are going through it too and there are many batches of students above who have done it so i really have to stop my complaining tongue!!!! well but i guess i can take a weekend break aye. much needed after cramming so many things these past two weeks. just kidding all the readings and revisions should have been done like since the beginning of the year but i'm such a lazy ass sometimes......

but then looking back at the past 6 months.. well what can i say the first six months of 2015 had been overwhelming and sick!!! getting o's results was so so so so emotional. choosing a tertiary education and waiting for the results had been nerve-wrecking. getting into pioneer junior college and trying to adapt to college life had been... i dont know, overwhelming??? turned 17 which is a very very odd age i feel, and turned 2 years as a disciple was so exciting. catching jayesslee and one direction in SINGAPORE had been pretty amazing and surreal oh my gosh i can't. the thought of having seen one direction and been to a one direction concert? dayum. and the best thing of all? not having to touch chinese in junior college. till this day i still cannot believe that i passed my higher chinese okay!!! i know you think i'm a weirdo for not getting over it but passing higher chinese was unbelievable especially since i've been failing it ever since i stepped foot into secondary school and maybe i feel so much because i was once asked by teachers and even had to talk to the vice principal about dropping higher chinese. but my friends keep telling me to not drop it and that period of time was so stressful no joke. so now i enjoy longer breaks in school yazzz!!!!

there are other things that i have to work on this semester too. first of all, being disciplined. i need to have self-control and self-discipline if not i have no one but myself to blame if i become a kairos which i really really dont want to be. then quiet times i really need to and want to work on more consistent quiet times!!! this week had been good but it's probably because it's the exam period and i end pretty early. but from next week onwards school is as per normal so i have to work on it. and. i dont know but i feel like i should start stepping out of my comfort zone and start talking to new people. i'm super introverted in this aspect, i'm not the crazy noisy loud annoying joween that my close friends know, and i am definitely not one who will initiate conversations with new people. one word which accurately describes me when i'm with new people, is awkward. which is why i feel like i should start talking to new people and work on my awkwardness. i mean who is not awkward at first, right? i just have to get over it and stop having this awkward mindset and probably stop being so insecure and afraid of being judged. you only live once. especially since now i'm in the jc ministry in church and one of the oldest in teens it's probably time to get to know some younger people before some of them go to the campus ministry. plus the fact that i really do not know how long i will be staying in the jc ministry HAHA. okay oh well i'm shy i'm awkward i'm insecure i'm afraid of getting judged all these hinder me from meeting new people but i'm gonna have to try. and i'm probably gonna take a lot of time doing this HAHA. but then again i really want the teens ministry to be close to one another so that we can have the hype back from 3 years ago when i first stepped into the teens. oh well i know my thoughts are messed up but whatever okay.

i do not know who reads this blog, but

till next time x