JOWEEEEEN

this is everything i didn't say

thoughts

Sunday, 28 June 2015 || 12:42 pm

sooo recently i saw a quote which says "happiness starts with a h and ends with an s, but so does harry styles" WOAHHHHHHHHH right, i know. i don't even know what i'm doing with my life right now. we're heading into the last week of holidays, and i don't think i have done much revision, and i definitely feel that this year's june holidays was less productive than last year's june holidays, and i.... don't even know why.

on friday 19 June i was really really happy, i have no idea why, i was just happy i guess!!! HAHAHA it was almost a whole day spent in church. met dayna before heading to last day of DJ's class. had lunch with dayna and jay at kfc and we did a lot of catching up and updates about life and teens and campus since we're in different ministries now. and we walked back to church which was really really good exercise for me because i hardly exercised during the holidays HAHAH throughout the past three or so weeks of holidays i have gained fats and not knowledge. it should probably be the other way round. and i completed one lit essay in um... one and a half hours? but i didn't manage to do a math question and i got really angsty. i was so angry at myself for not being able to do that math question which i could do previously. then we went down to the second floor and it was cold. after awhile i went to the carpark to watch dayna crish martin jay and devin play frisbee. devin was so funny especially when he tried to catch the disk but failed HAHAH. i remembered laughing a lot in general while watching them play. and for midweek, we combined with the campus. for some weird reason or another, today's worship was so loud, it was so good! then we had sean doing a short lesson about DJ's class and we had games. with the campus. i was dreading it at first. but oh well. we were split into 10 groups. and for the teens sisters, i was in group 10 with illiona, emma and bev. and we were in the same group as joseph, jason, chris, steffi, darren, daniel anddddddd jeremy if i'm not wrong. out of 5 stations, we did 4 stations. for the first station we had to transfer balloons from one wall to another. for the second station, it was like the blanket game and it was fun because luckily i knew shermaine HAHAHA. and for the third game it was something like the squeezing game la. we were supposed to squeeze three times but when emma squeezed my hand once i immediately passed on the squeeze to darren. HAHAH. it was fun because we see which group had faster reaction and stuffs. and for the last game it was like musical chairs but on the floors with our hands. and that joseph lim ugh!!! it's okay. and we went to the third floor to witness jaden's baptism. he was in joey's team for retreat but was very very quiet. and i was there with tricia reminiscing her baptism because i was literally in lukas' shoes like sharing for the dude. HAHAH. okay. then afterwards it was fellowship!!! talked to sarah for a little little while (YAY) and then went to talk to jay joseph and (laugh at) tricia bc!!!! HAHAH and then talked to derrick afterwards. it had actually been a long time, maybe a year since i talked to him and that was a short chat only and on friday it was a little bit of talking and a little bit of laughing too because i think typical conversations with me would have to include laughter HAHAH, and julie and friends celebrated vivian's birthday and yea while walking down to the first floor, i saw jaden and i congratulated him from across the corridor kind of thing it was embarrassing, i was embarrassing but i doubt he even knows me so whatever and i don't know, i was happy at the end of the day HAHA :D it's good to be happy right.

i don't know what i did over the weekend to be honest, but i had pw meeting all the way at choa chu kang on saturday morning during the june holidays do you feel my pain!!!!!! yes, and then i went home and caught up on my sleep, i think i've been sleeping too much recently though, this is bad, really really bad. and at night i actually live-snapchatted eleanor!!!!! i miss that girl so so much it's been one and half years since india no words could describe me when i saw her live! LIVE!!!! i need to like skype her. HAHA but anyways she was going to new york with a couple of other disciples from london, like wow!? and i skyped xueqi for two hours at night.... i don't even know why i skyped that woman she probably misses me too much... yup, she does miss me too much HAHAH. and on sunday morning, the current and ex JC sisters met up for breakfast and a little game to get to know one another better. it was so cool because i know that these sisters are going through most likely the same things that i am going through and i should probably not complain too much. :) but at least these sisters are somewhat like a "support group" to me and we definitely know each other better after today, and i'm so glad to have this group of sisters beside me for the next two years or so. over this past weekend, there have been three teens baptism. THREE!!! jaden, zann and samuel, and i would say i am truly inspired by their baptism especially since it's been just over two years since i have been baptised, in june, too and when i was 15 so it's just pretty amazing la!!! those who were baptised after hyc gave me the feels because i truly know and understand how much hyc would have impacted their lives. even though the hyc that we attend might have been different, but the hyc feels are there. i so so so want to go to hyc again or maybe even go back to chennai with the other 120 disciples! wow, india hyc 2013 was legendary. it was amazing. it was an eye-opening experience and i am so grateful to God that i got the opportunity to go there and serve with disciples from all over the world (literally). speaking of hyc, i have yet to update my blog about hyc HAHA well this just shows how much of a procrastinator i am.

so now we head to the last week of the june holidays. time definitely just flew past, i'm definitely and absolutely not prepared for mid years. here's to a week of intense mugging and catching up with heap loads of readings and content. this post will probably be published at the end of the week so this is a brief overview of how my last week of june holidays will go/ went. i'm praying that it will be productive one and maybe the discipline in me will suddenly show up or something but here's how it goes.....

on monday morning, i went to get a haircut near our house. joey too. firstly because almost everybody is telling me that it's time for a haircut (HAHA) secondly because i also feel that it's time i get a haircut, thirdly because my hair was really really unhealthy after who-knows-how-long of not cutting or trimming my hair, and lastly because singapore is so so HOT!!! well if i let down my hair it only seems as if i cut 6 inches or less, but when i tie my hair up in a ponytail the difference in length is very very obvious okay!!!! so guys, yeah, i've cut my hair. :) then we went to school for lit consultation!!!! the last lit consultation before midyears which will be on wednesday together with math!! the stress is kicking in. but yet again, i think i'm the laziest and slackest JC student in singapore's all-time history sigh. and jay was so funny he was outside the library discussion room and he saw us inside and he waved and showed the peace sign HAHAHA guys, presenting to you the president of the ambassadors!!!! and after lit consultation, we went to ITE college west to do facial because mum's friend worked there holey my pimples hurt so much like owwwww ookay, ouch!!! i literally teared and now mum wants us to have haircut and facial every two months to keep it nice i'm like mum pls. HAHAHA. yeah.

went to the library to study on tuesday because i've got no plans and i really really need to study since i have literally no idea what i have done the past three weeks. so i was early and there was a queue and then i saw marcus and huiting and one or two PJ seniors i'm like woah. HAHAH and there were a bunch of JC kids there too. i went to study with alice but we sat at different tables so that we can focus better. then there was once one PJ-mate J1 sat beside me and she was doing the exact same revision set that i was doing and she like knows how to do everything and i'm there like skipping each and every question omg. times like this i question my decisions in life. HAHA. had lunch at foodcourt catching up with alice and we saw morE PJ people hehehehe. joey and kaiwen also came to the library a short while and they left early and i stayed until 6 freaking out about exam.....

wednesday was literally legitimately the most dreaded day of the week for me. because exams. ya know. mid years. we have two papers because of lit, so we were in school pretty early because dad drove us to cck. lit was the morning paper and well my whole clique found it difficult. the pc is about rest and hope i'm like what can you give me a noun...... and then we had 4 hours break before the next paper which was math and i was like yolo-ing but freaking out at the same time because i know how unprepared i am //sigh// so i redid a revision set. vanessa came to school quite early and me joey and her had a short time of prayer before the paper. i'm so so grateful to be in the same school as a fellow church mate!!! math blew my mind in a bad way ok bYE GRADES. i'm seriously bidding farewell to my marks sigh. and the sianest thing is that i was seated first row during both papers. and i do not, ii repeat, i do not like sitting at the front row during exams i feel so so so stressed. or maybe i just don't like exams as a whole oh well. but now i can finally say that half of lit and math is over!!!! but next week is gonna be hella intense cos all the H2 subjects....... brb crying. anyways after school i went back home and prepared to go to church for a sister's sleepover thingy. had dinner first and i packed my homework and jacket and that's basically it. but i regret not bringing my blanket along HAHA. i was supposed to meet julie at 7.30.... then changed to 7.45. and by 7.10, i was already on the train! HAHAH so early, so i alighted at yishun popular to buy a pen which was running out of ink. then i reached yck at around 7.45 and that woman came at 8. HAHAH if you were lucky enough to catch my snapchat, she's really funny. (oh, and sorry for the spam on snapchat that day HAHA) and we went to church together, it was like an impromptu spend time which got both of us feeling not-so-high but we now understand each other better :) we joined the sisters at the rooftop who were playing card games, then we played a drinking game which was really funny especially when we had to speak with an indian accent, and i just either kept silent or i laughed. HAHAHA and tricia came yay so proud of her!!!!!! at around 10, we went down to the m floor and we were joined by some campus sisters! YAY, the more the merrier!!!!!! afterwards we watched demonic i was super scared i clung onto julie and i went outside for like 5 minutes, even. HAHAH because those who didn't want to watch were outside playing cards so i watched them for like 5 minutes before going back in to continue watching the show, i don't even know what i'm doing to myself. HAHAH. tricia kept touching my leg which freaked me out and when crish arrived she touched my head and rub my hair and i swear i got a mini heart attack HAHAH. okay so by the time the show ended, it was around 11.30 i think, (we had a phone table to put all our phones there so i didn't know the exact time haha), and we gathered outside the harbor room for a sharing by rebecca. we first introduced ourselves, saying our names, an animal that we want to be, and what we want to be when we grow up. there was around 20+- sisters i think? so cool HAHAH. yeah then afterwards we played a couple of rounds of blow wind blow to (duh) get us to mix around before we started the actual sharing. the sharing was somewhat related to the talk we had at teens retreat, about bonding the sisters and having a close-knit ministry which we all really wanted so much. and this sleepover thing is probably one of the first few steps to bond the sisters in the teens and campus yay!! we had sharings by rebecca, rachel, renee, maria and sarah, something about how to step out of our comfort zone whether we are introverts or extroverts to love everyone. i guess it was a really good and useful sharing!! and by the time the sharing ended, it was likE 1???? HAHAHA and then it was free and easy. me tricia crish julie and alicia went to giant to get some drinks and food and we acted like we're on a mission //whaaaaaaat// HAHA things you do at 1am with your friends... then we headed to the m floor. julie and alicia went to shower and crish played mafia and me and tricia just slacked around. and at around 1.45 or something, we went to the temasek room to study, the five of us except tricia HAHA. i was doing econs notes, alicia did amath i think (wow), crish did econs and julie kept changing her worksheets. HAHA and her ss homework is actually our prelim paper last year omg bad memories because i know i failed both ss prelim papers so badly HAHAH. and when julie decided that she wanted to do ss, she fell asleep after writing the question number HAHA. at around 3 ish crish played songs which were so old!!! not very old, but songs that we listened to like 3-5 years ago maybe?!?!?! and i was like "omg omg this song" "omg crish this omg" HAHAH then julie woke up at 3.30 i think (which is probably the time most people went to sleep) and that's when me and crish got high trying to rap to lighters and if you saw our snapchat, you will know what 3am with my friends does to me. well so basically the whole 2 or so hours, i was writing econs notes and my handwriting was so nice???? it was really nice ok HAHAH sorry. and at 4 i KO-ed and slept. julie so sweet she actually borrowed crish's blanket which she wasn't using and put it over me which gave me a shock omg???? JULIE SO SWEETS <3 I kept waking up every hour though. at 5am because crish needed her blanket and then she was snapchatting and i woke up HAHA. then at 6am because it was cold? then i moved to sleep at the table there. and at 7am i woke up because my legs and hands were vERY NUMB!!! only me and tricia were awake though. then we decided to sleep somemore until 7.30 and then both of us packed our bags and left church at around 7.45 like that while everybody else were still sleeping. i bought waffle, i think the aunty knows what i want already actually HAHA and while waiting for 85 and while i ate my waffle, we talked. and we talked about puberty goals like whaaaaaaaaaat.

and thursday yeah i only had less than 3 hours of sleep and i went to meet ku at woodlands. we were supposed to meet at 9 and that woman came at 9.20 excuse you. and we were going to rp to study and she was wearing an np shirt i'm like are you serious. HAHA. at 9.30 ish there were so many rp people going back to school and i was like a w k w a r d but we tried blending in with the poly crowd HAHA. thankfully, the library was quite empty. and it was quite empty until around 5 like that. we had lunch at the cafe in the library when we talked about ku's past HAHA and after lunch we suddenly became art students. if you saw my story on snapchat, you'll know HAHAH. today was quite productive!!! 10 hours in rp library, doing econs notes, 1 lit essay, and sea hist content. like literally, from 1.45am-4am, then 9.45am-7.10pm with around 1.5-2 hours of break?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? or maybe more but i actually felt like i did a lot of work today HAHA but the real question is, did anything get into my brain? hmm.... it's only thursday, i mean, already thursday, and i remember telling myself some time last week to make this week fulfilling, and so far, it had been really fulfilling, especially last night HEHE. amazingly, shockingly, surprisingly, i did not sleep in the afternoon. it is 10.46pm as i type this and i'm not tired??? i did sleep for around 10 minutes at the rp library and probably during the bus ride from punggol to yishun but. HAHAH it's still weird but whatever. i finally finally F I N A L L Y met ku omg been so long love ya xoxoxoxoxoxoxox (im not ghey realleh)

friday!!!! it's the last friday of the june holidays i still don't get how time passes so quickly but anyway. went to the library today with alice and yuting also came!!!!! today's agenda was so content-heavy because i literally did history the whole day, like SEA history and international history. i probably did a lot of readings, and hence i felt that today wasn't really very productive like i read up, but the actual amount of content that goes into my head is ???? had lunch with the two of them plus marcus plus xuan ying (i dont know how to spell sorreh) #pjpride HAHAHA and we saw cecilia at the traffic light but she didn't see me at first <insignificant> HAHA jk but she put down her bangs!!!!! and after lunch i got double chocolate frappe and oreo cheesecake like whaaaaat hashtag fats alright i know. and went back to the library to continue studying. then this guy with super neat handwriting came and sit opposite me and he was doing H2 lit AOI and he was so focused doing his work i'm so shocked because i don't even want to do lit sometimes (actually most times).... but anyways, i studied till 6.10 and whoops, was late to meet dayna and joey to go to nex. so we headed to nex and it was so crowded that me and dayna concluded that we hate people HAHA. we had to get dinner but all the lines were so long so we decided to have macs and we saw yao le!!!!! then we headed up to the rooftop outside the library where we met up with the other DJC people like janelle marissa xueyi davis tianyi and sister joel caryl theophilia regine and vanessa, so in total there were 13 DJC people yay!!! :D we started eating at around 7.45, just having dinner and talking hahah. and at around 8.20-ish i think, we played the mrt game to keep everyone awake HAHA and somehow it was so funny!!! i got hit by dayna and vanessa so hard my thighs were red after the first round, and the opposite side was so dead while our side was hitting one another like mad. it was crazy fun and funny!!! HAHA then suddenly this guy was dared by his friends and he came to sit in the middle of the circle and started talking to us randomly LOL. like asking if we were from JC and guessing our JCs and stuff.... and after he left we continued playing the mrt game for a couple of rounds HAHA. afterwards, we numbered ourselves off since we were in a circle with quite a big group, into our prayer groups. i was with regine tianyi davis caryl and marissa, and we chatted awhile before i started off the prayer chain (BECAUSE OF SPIN THE BOTTLE HAHA) then at 9.30 we joined back together (we initially planned to meet back at 9.15 LOL), and we took selfies and group photos. then dayna recognised these 2 RJ guys and wanted to evangelise but she just didn't HAHA then afterwards when we were going down the escalator she saw ANOTHER FRIEND who recognised her too and she said hi and she softly asked him "do you wanna go to church" but it was drowned in mine, joey's and vanessa's laughter HAHA but dayna said he's cool HAHAHA. okay. me joey vanessa and dayna got sogurt (YES IT WAS STILL OPEN) while joel davis caryl marissa and xueyi hang around to talk (and wait for us omg) HAHAH and we went back together slowly and a mosquito bite bit on my eyelid i'm unhappy now. :( HAHAH but anyways it was a good evening and i'm so so grateful for this JC ministry, and so encouraged today that the JC peeps met up despite most of us having exams next week and although we really should be studying. but yay! :D

and then saturday arrives in a blink of an eye. my dgroup was gonna have a date later in the afternoon and i was supposed to meet crish at 8 at bishan mrt but i arrived at 8.20 and crish came at 8.48 i'm like what?!?!?! why is everybody being late on me?!?!?!!? HAHAH okay anyways we wanted to study at starbucks but then no studying during weekends. then we went to mosburger hoping they wouldn't kick us out, and they didn't until like lunch time around 1.30pm+-. so both of us were doing SEA history because it was my exam on monday and also because she had not touch her SEA hist at all despite her exams being over already. it was so funny cos i snapchatted so much?!?!? if you added me on snapchat you will know HAHA. she told me that an important person in vietnam was syngman rhee. LIKE HELLO VIETNAM AND SYNGMAN RHEE HAHAHAHA i was laughing so hard omg. i felt like we did work for 10 minutes, then we talked for half an hour and this continued all the way till lunch time but we were quite productive okay!!!! i even retied crish's braid 3 times which took me half an hour HAHAH. and then when we got kicked out we went to hunt for light food. we got my dessert story and 10 of those balls i suddenly forgot the name HAHAH. we headed to the rooftop to eat our food and then we suddenly saw this group of 10-20 poly people, and all of their hair were brown omg. the difference between jc and poly kids. HAHAH and then it took me like 5 minutes to realise that one of them was mindy, and i waved bye to her as me and crish left to get koi. and then we got koi and sat at like one of the parapets outside the mrt station ready to leave, then i remembered that CRISH was supposed to get cups. HAHAHA like crish actually forgot about it and i reminded her HAHAHAH it was so funny we rushed down to ntuc to get cups and while queuing up to pay for the cups both of us were feeling so scared and nervous even my hands got cold not funneh. but yeah after we got the cups we went to botanic gardens mrt to meet janelle derrick neal joel arthur (who was late) and marissa (who was later). lucky we were not late HAHAH and then neal and crish started talking and neal started like insulting crish and it was so funny i think i laughed too loudly.... at the mrt station. then at around 3.20ish we went to botanic garden and found a spot and set the mats and talked and played card games like indian poker and german bridge. HAHAH we played german bridge in pairs and i didn't know how to play it actually but with the help of derrick, we didn't get last. HAHAHA. idk why but it was so funny during the games. HAHAH. like during indian poker, marissa had this really high card, and crish told her that she should change her card but janelle was like "you shouldn't change your card" HAHAHA. the losing pair, neal and marissa had to take a selfie with a random stranger. then afterwards we split, me and derrick, crish and joel, janelle and arthur, marissa and neal. it was a pretty good talk i should say, because i used to be so intimidated by derrick cos he's like the cool kid and i'm not HAHAH. we talked (and i laughed) for like an hour plus and it was great getting to know derrick better, and it was cool too having him as my first date, it was encouraging! yaz it was a reverse date for marissa janelle and crish but not for me okayyyyyyy. then afterwards we took some pictures at the pond there and headed to church together for a saturday service. :)) and gosh, we were so tired hahah, headed home with dayna and denise!!!

it's like sunday AFTERNOON now, i woke up at like 11.30 and school is reopening this week with exams to kick off the semester and i am so so so so so so so so so sian right now thinking about it okay. this semester is gonna be a hell of a ride as i need to buck up a lot for promos in like what, three months' time? but this last week of holidays had indeed been fulfilling. better than the first three weeks when i don't even know what i was doing with my life. i went to the library and was productive, and met church people for 4 consecutive days this week which was really really encouraging. and my quiet time also got better this week. :) so now, hopefully and prayerfully, i can get this week over and done with. LET GO AND LET GOD.

till next time. x
(i got no photos throughout this week because the photos are in my phone and because i'm lazy so byE time to hit the books)