this is everything i didn't say

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these few days are gonna suck so much as i legitimately start studying for my upcoming mid year examinations. i know i should have started studying earlier in the year ugh i really just have to be and keep being disciplined just like athletes -- i really really admire athletes' discipline so much no joke, waking up early to train, some even juggling sports and studies at the same time, and i only have to focus on studies, especially since i've quit dancing a few years back which i still feel pretty sad about hahaha. i procrastinate and laze around too much for a school-going student tbh. i need motivation i need inspiration i need discipline. okay. i've got math and litp1 exam next wednesday, even though it's supposedly the june holidays, and the rest of the papers will be when school reopens, which is also pretty soon. but lucky for me i don't take chinese so i have an extra day for revision omg and it's these days that i am so glad i took and passed my O's higher chinese. thank God really!!!! you may think i'm over-reacting because it's just mid years but i honestly don't feel prepared at all. even though i have consulted my teachers many many times but i'm just not confident at all especially since it's only been 5 months since i stepped foot into junior college and learnt new subjects that i've never taken before sigh. and this is why i hate my laziness. i really need daily reminders to stay disciplined.

on a sidenote i suddenly miss dancing so so much. it's been like 2 years since i quit ballet after 10+ years of learning ballet and i literally don't do any form of dancing now that my cca isn't dancing. i miss my ballet friends and cchyid and just being with a group of friends that i kinda grew up with. this whole week, Jia Juan have been going out every single day for extra STD classes and she has like a future for dancing? and she's currently in RAD grade 7, which is when we quit ballet ah sigh. and within these past 2 years i have definitely gained a lot of weight and i have also definitely lost my flexibility. i don't think i can do a split now and i highly doubt that i'm able to do a cartwheel, or even a qianfan. sigh i really miss dance days!!!! i guess i don't have the dancer face, many people say that they can't tell that i used to be a dancer. maybe it's because i've grown fatter HAHA oh well i should probably just focus on my studies now.

and now that SEA games are over, i think there should be less distraction for me, except 118. HAHAH the past 2 weeks had been spent mostly watching the SEA games and i don't even know why, even though i'm not a sports person, never was and never will be a sports person. sooooo i just admire people who do sports, really, i do, because i know that i can never be like them, especially i'm already having problems in PE class trying to find excuses to skip PE but always fail. oh well, PE is the only way i can keep fit now that i've quit dance, right?

i do not know what is wrong with me but one of the days this past week, i missed otrasg so so so much. because one direction and singapore only come together in one sentence and that was on 11 march 2015 and sadly it's over. i can't believe it's been what, 3 months plus since we rocked out at the sports hub, with a 30k attendance, probably the biggest concert in singapore, and the most talked about event on twitter in singapore, like hello i cannot believe my eyes, i actually saw harold edward styles in real life in singapore!!! for one hour and 45 minutes. my biggest regret was not getting standing tickets still, but. liam louis niall harry and zayn in singapore. even though the show started like one hour late BUT you know!!!!!! i don't even know what i'm doing to myself now listening to one direction playlist. stop laughing at me listening to a mainstream band okay, their harmonising is so so so good better than yours so shush and stop judging me.

okay i'm sorry it's like already almost 5pm already i should really go and study and get some stuff into my little pea brain. i'd probably rant about school and homework and my decision of coming to JC soon in another post hahaha for now, i hope i can survive midyears.

till next time. x