this is everything i didn't say

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hello. so i'm having a little little feels now to just..... blog about random things, mostly my feelings that i just want to type out because i would probably feel better after typing everything out rather than keeping it all to myself. okay, i won't type everything out but ya you definitely know what i mean. so this post is more of me talking to myself kind of thing. not interested? there's a red x button at the top right of the page. :)

so it's nearing the end of term2 week5, which is like half a term over, and almost a complete term of school for us J1s. i don't know whether i'm feeling stressed or not. but we have had quite a number of mini tests, lecture tests and cas since we started school. and so far my grades have been QUITE okay i guess, except for lit paper 3, so close to passing AHHHH. taking tests in jc is pretty scary okay, like every assignment you do, every test you sit for, it all counts towards promos. so it's hella scary i swear. like now i'm just hoping for the best for my tests. i'm just so determined to pass my tests, like at least a pass. but then sometimes i just get super lazy and.... #joweenproblems and it seriously pisses me off whenever people say that they are not prepared for the test, or confirm failing, or saying that they didn't study, and end up, they score the highest. i mean like GO AWAY????!!!!! like i actually know that you do study and burn the midnight oil and you dare say that you will fail i mean like come on...... ugh. and during my breaks whenever i see people studying, especially J1s, i just get scared because i know that i should be studying. i should just really buck up and stop slacking and lazing and getting distracted very very easily. like, it's april already, 2 months to mid years and around 6 months or more to promos. i don't want to disappoint myself, nor my parents. i have chosen this jc route, and i know full well it's not easy. no regrets, no regrets.

anyway there's a lot of problems relating to friends for me now i dont even know. it's not the first time i'm experiencing these kind of problems... i mean i actually faced it before and i definitely do not want to go through all the conflicts and stuff again. i just... don't know what to do with my friends, okay? okay. i'm just an ordinary teen trying to fit in.

so yesterday's assembly period was pretty fun. we were in our homeroom doing the mbti thingy and apparently the teacher doing the thing for our class is mr omar, our co ct, and it's the first time we're meeting him actually HAHAHA. and he's actually pretty nice and funny i don't know, but i feel that we can communicate with him quite well. HAHAH. okay yeah. and during the peer coach session, zhe ern actually made a little sweets pack for each and every single person in our class. she actually used her own money omg help. hahaha then anyways we did this thing where we wrote our names on a blank paper and people would write like, encouraging stuff for us so we went around the class. and i wrote for everybody because duh i'm nice. no just kidding, but ya at the end of the session, we were trying to figure out who write what, and i guess i was pretty encouraged. ;) gave ambvass exco selection a miss....

can't hang around much now, i've got to print out another copy of my PI...... which is due tomorrow. yes, 7% of our PW marks for a levels would be submitted tomorrow, no more doing drafts after drafts after drafts!!! i actually did like 5 drafts, and spent two hours cutting down my words from 800+ words to 500 words. the word limit sucks, giving all of us a headache!!!! andddd we're gonna get to know our pw groupings tomorrow. am i excited, i don't even know. i guess, whoever i am grouped with, i just gotta accept my group members and work well with them. no judging joween, no judging.

it's past 10pm now and i have to write to lit essays so rip to my sleep so i'm probably gonna look really really dead tomorrow throughout the whole day... so i'm sorry if i'm a bit moody ya!!!! hopefully i'll get to sleep in on saturday though. i need my rest!!!!!!!

till next time x