this is everything i didn't say

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it's finally saturday.
finally.
this week had been a really really tiring and draining week, i don't know. but i just felt really really tired last night. even though i slept quite early this week. oh well. managed to sleep in this morning and i tried doing some homework but suddenly all the homework look so foreign to me. and i have literature and gp ca this coming week and me not knowing what is happening in class basically means i'm screwed.

anyway on wednesday after school i went to watch insurgent with joeyer, ku and faith!! school ended at 1.30 and me and joey went to yewtee to have lunch and meet joeyer and she just told us everything about poly. then we headed to junction 8 and bought the tickets first, and we managed to get the student price tickets even though faith and xueqi were not there yet hahah. then we went to yakun cos joeyer suddenly felt hungry, and bought food and pezzo and we did the self checkout thing which failed so badly hahah. and by the time it was 3.45 already and we headed to outside gv and faith came!!! and then we waited for burden ku whose school ended at 3.30. hahahah and when she came all of us were like "EH TIFFANEH" omg such an old inside joke hahaha. she did a very bif risk of coming to watch a movie with us hahaha. the movie theatre was VERY empty. i think there was like less than 20 there??? and we were being a nuisance before the movie started like talking about a lot of crap and taking pictures hahah. the movie was good!!!! (anyway still remember last year around this time we watched divergent hahah) and faith cried???? HAHAH after the movie we went to an area outside the toilet and we took pictures and polaroids there and yes, we got judged. then we headed to woodlands and in the train me and xueqi were being retarded i don't even know!!! if you saw my snapchat you would know HAHAH and xueqi went home and we went woodlands to get llaollao, met with yini and hengjie but yini left early cos she had sea games stuff. we walked around, took more pictures, and then headed home. it was an afternoon well spent, so glad to have met with the people whom i spent thursdays with. :) full strength next time!!

no other interesting things happened this week.

but the passing of our first prime minister, mr lee kuan yew. and as i watched tv programmes which showed about the life and some rallies of mr lee, i am so grateful to be living here in singapore. mr lee dedicated his whole life building singapore. from the merger to separation, and from a third world to first world country, he had sacrificed a lot transforming a fishing village into a cosmopolitan city. even though i am born many years after singapore had developed. and mr lee was already the minister mentor and even stepped down from being a political leader, i have been told at a young age, how mr lee had changed singapore. every national day, all singaporeans looked forward to seeing mr lee, including myself. and i am so glad that i had a chance to perform for ndp once when he was still living. this year marks the fiftieth year of singapore's independence, and mr lee won;t be here to witness this milestone of singapore. he won't be able to see this country which he transformed, turn 50. but i am sure he will be very proud of his work. singapore is his work. and mr lee will be remembered for a very long time. thank you, mr lee.

and zayn is no longer in one direction.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, don't even talk to me about this. :( one direction will always be 5/5 to me okay and i am so lucky to have seen 5 of them earlier this month.

i'm gonna get some work done now if not i'm so screwed for the rest of the year. ugh i really need to stop procrastinating and get some consultation if needed. i need some motivation. i can't afford to be lazy. i have to work hard. i am no longer in secondary school.

"shit happens. suck it up and deal with it." a constant reminder to myself this past few days.

on 21 march 2015 i turned 17. wow it's such an awkward age and i feel.... old??? and i suddenly thought of the saying "now will be the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be" #deep hahah okay well. i didn't really expect much texts and wishes because well i felt that the older you get the lesser the number of people who remember your birthday. but then altogether there were quite a number of wishes and texts from mg, class and even overseas friends and i would like to thank everybody who wished me via texts (some unexpected texts omg) or posts on instagram or even facebook. thanks ya'll!!! (( there was even a text at 11.59pm from ian HAHAHAH)) and also thank you to those who gave me cards too i really really appreciate it!!


hello!!! i finally don't have to go back to school during the march holidays anymore so i have decided to do a pretty short actual post before doing my homework. homework. i literally have homework for every subject i take. well, i can't complain because this is the JC life i chose, i guess. econs tutorial homework from last week plus holiday assignment, international history essay of polish issue, sea history study for test on indonesia. lit paper 1 annotate and essay for PC 23, lit paper 3 full essay on the whipping, math chapter 2 exercise b and misc exercise, gp comprehension practice and pw pi. happy advanced birthday joween. :-) so much for having your birthday towards the ending of your holiday, eh?

well it's been around one and a half months since JC started. and around one month plus since tutorials and lectures have begun. i do miss my high school days, frankly speaking. not every part of high school, though. i guess i miss some of my teachers who have been really really patient with me since secondary 1 even though i kept failing their subjects. and also my friends whom i can be crazy with and who are literally my sources of laughter during lessons, sometimes causing teachers and other classmates to be annoyed with my laughter but, oh well. HAHAHA. and i miss dance and council and my juniors and close friends too! i felt as though i knew quite a few people back in cchy, unlike now in a new school where i can't seem to find any familiar faces as often as in cchy. well, i definitely don't miss the all-white uniform though. and the 7 metal buttons that have to be put on every night. i apologise, but this is gonna be a little bit of a throwback post, if you don't mind. :-)









hello blog, i am back again with another new post because i just have the feel to blog. once again, i doubt i make sense. anyway i am supposed to be doing my homework or preparing for tomorrow's tutorials and lectures (yes, even during the march holidays) or making cards for my friends but nO. apparently i have short attention span. and sometimes i question myself why i am in junior college. and then i reason it with because i do not know what i want to do in life and i have no goals in life. this probably doesn't make sense but oh well.

it's the march holidays but i still have to go back to school for consultations and stuff. i have quite a bit of free time, but i must admit that i'm feeling really tired and lazy already. but it's only the end of term1. i really really need someone to motivate me to study please. i must stop being such a lazy bum. and i must be focused. since i'm already in college. homework is starting to pile up and this isn't even actual hell yet okay. only 1/8 of jc life completed. 7 more gruelling phases to come. i should probably be going to do my homework and prepare for the other seven phases but oh well. laziness and procrastination strikes again. this is not good. are there any pills or potion i can take to make me be focused with my work omg.

"it's ok not to fit in"-christian collins. well thats one thing i'll never be able to do. thank you chris. :')

ps did i tell you almost all my homework are essays?!?! so much for being an arts student. econs history literature math. and literally, my econs history and lit homework is to write essays. and math is just some practice on binomial or something which i need major help in. i think. and gp is comprehension. while pw, is to do pi. pw. torture. hell. basically yeah. according to seniors and i probably should believe them. arts. help i probably need a peer coach session now hahaha.

i should probably go and do something productive now like study or something if not i'd be dead meat when the holidays end. sigh much?? student life. i chose this, i can't complain. cope with it. yay. i'd probably update more when i have the time as i really really want to just express my views here and stuff and important things/events which happened too because if i don't blog about it i'd probably forget about it hahaha as i grow old. memories stay here. i hope.

"shit happens. suck it up and deal with it." -sumatra 2012 council

//i just want to be happy//

to be very honest, guys, i don't know how i feel. it's those times again when you feel a gush of mixed emotions you cannot comprehend nor explain, and all you can tell people is that you're okay. or maybe that's just me.

oh well. a ton have happened since i last updated my blog and i'm feeling a lot of feelings right now idk.

anyways the march holidays have just started anddddd well last friday after pe ended at 4 i stayed back in school for 45 minutes talking to yao de and his friend and another random guy whom we later learned to be from wrps, chin feng!!! hahaha it's a small small world.

and and and and and i had my second concert experience at one directions on the road again tour 2015 in singapore!!! the first experience was jayesslee and oned's one was hella insane i'm gonna blog about it soon please be patient thank you hahah

and now i'm supposed to be doing my PW pi draft as i have consultation with ms jane tomorrow but then some things distract me and blogging happens to be one of  'those things' i guess. hahaha. i don't know, but i suddenly feel the urge to update my blog. with random things, i don't even care if people understand okay. i guess i find a teeny weeny bit of solace just typing everything out here, allows me to let go some of my thoughts. so the following stuff will probably be just me talking to myself. i find this rather cool too hahaha.

i don't even know what to do anymore. because i feel like i'm the annoying bad friend everyone wants to avoid. i don't even feel close to anymore unlike last time. the sense of closeness there is just gone. maybe time has changed the way things used to be. maybe this is why people tell us to cherish the moments that we have. because memories stay, not all people stay. times like this i wished i didn't care so much. because i know that no one really cares what i say. in this case, you. no matter what people tell you you just won't listen. even if it's for your own good. but oh well. i hope things don't turn out the way i imagined it to be.

and then i suddenly thought of another situation ugh. maybe i really shouldn't care. because people will only find me annoying and 'good' and stuff and. yeah.

on a sidenote, i'm gonna be turning 17 really soon and nobody really cares, joween. :-)

so this happened. on the road again tour 2015 happened. IN SINGAPORE. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THEY FINALLY HAD A SHOW IN SINGAPORE. 11 march 2015 was probably the best best BEST NIGHT EVER. and i just HAVE to blog about this not-so-typical wednesday night bc it was just fabalouis, amazayn, extraordinharry, phenomeniall and brilliam!!!!!!! ok so i went to school and school ended at 5 and i rushed home (saw ms siti) and rushed to stadium at 7.15-ish. and we went in and it was almost full already!!!!! a dj was doing the opening act and almost everybody was siging along to the songs played THE CROWD WAS FREAKING INSANE. they played slsp and goodgirls and california girls and many many other songs and the dj left slightly before 8 but then other songs continued playing while we were waiting for the boys to come out. and at 8pm everybody was like WHERE ARE THEY WHERE ARE THEY AND EVERYTHING bc you know they ended up coming 1 hour late so they only came out at 9pm!?!???!?! yah and that's when the 30k audience (almost all) started screaming their heads off (me included) bECAUSE THEY ARE REAL. THEY ARE IN SINGAPORE. RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES. AND I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. like after all these years of watching their vids on youtube. and everything. i dont know. EVERYTHING. ya.

i really dont know how to blog about this ok!!!!!!!
but they sang 24 songs in total!!!!!!! and i was there dancing like crazy not really caring about people judging me because i have dreamt of this day for years!!!!!!! and i also took a lot of blurry videos too because well i was jumping up and down!!!!!!! i mean its impossible to stay still during a catchy upbeat song by ONE DIRECTION okay!!!!!!

anyways niall played the guitar HE WAS SO CHARMING AND I SAW ZAYN'S MAN BUN AND HARRY'S HAIRFLIP WITH MY OWN EYES!!!!!!! and liam was dancing around and louis was so adorable i cannot take it okay!!!!!!! the 30k crowd was hella insane!!!!! so everyone sang along and stuff. and ok im trying to remember what they did ok!!!!!

louis told liam to describe the crowd in 3 words and liam went "singapore you rock" and then there was zayn repeating singapore dont know how many times and louis beatbox?!?!?!?!?!? and harry kept asking the crowd to move back because of the number of people who fainted at the moshpit S O S W E E T and he also made 30k of us shut up and at the count of 3 scream out loud like omg. and niall was so cute before DFWYB he was like "we all came from little towns around england and ireland" idk ok i was just screaming I THINK. they went around reading signs too and then there was a part where harry asked all of us to keep quiet and at the count of 3 shout like crazy!!!! and then before girl almighty played, liam asked all of us to clap quickly and do it together if not he would look stupid clapping alone!!!!!!! basically they r all so cute and hot how can it be right?!?!?!!?!?

they sang 24 songs in total (including happy birthday for someone) and during little things we had the lil project where half shone white light and half shown red light and the view (from the side where i was) was so ahhhhhh nice ok!!!!!!!! and we all sang the last part so loudly it was just so nice ok!!!!!! and idk!!!! so many things happened!!!!!! they even sang a birthday song for someone!! yup and i was there like videoing and enjoying myself and thr show ended at 10.45 I FELT SO OVERWHELMED when it ended bc!!!!!! yah. i cant take this anymore. and now when i actually sit down and watch otrasg vids i just have the feelz and i cannot take it OK so emotional and happy. :-)(

im so glad and proud of the boys really!!!!! even though it started an hour late but i had hell of a time during the one hour and 45 minutes!!! they are freaking real guys!!!! and i think i love otrasg just made me love them even more than i already do ok!!!!!!

so wednesday (4march) was pjc's road run. it started at 3 because well we have to have lessons first. and from 12.30 till 2 or something, it was the council elections. we were voting for the 16th student council!!!!!!!!! hahaha yah. we went around the booths and made a couple of new council-to-be friends aye. hahaha.

and before the college run started, it was scorching hot. and everybody was in the canteen cos that's where we're supposed to place our belongings. as there was a very very lomg waiting time, we took a class photo too. at 3pm, we assembled at the parade square for warmup LOL and the sun sucked la. soon after, the competitive run started. and me being a free soul, went to the railings of school overseeing the canal to cheer for people HAHAHA. i was only loud when there was someone i know hahaha. and xintien was running and a few of us were just shouting "tien jie" and she laughed HAHAHA. only one hour later, did the fun run segment start. we were in our houses and interestingly enough, it was a fun walk instead because everyone was just walking. and during the walking journey i walked with ilyas. yup. the primary school friend of 4 years and after which transferred out, long forgotten, and was never remembered again. it was a pretty good time catching up on life with the ex-classmate i haven't seen for 6 years!!! anddddd we're back in the same school again! HAHAHA YAY. we literally talked about primary school for the whole 3.2km (or less) LOL GOOD CATCHING UP WITH YA. then after we reached school, we went to the hall for prize giving presentation and we sat in our houses and yeah. cheered for people i know ahahahaha and it was a really really tiring day but college run was pretty cool!!!!